Diet Diva

Over the last few days I have learned a lot about myself. For starters, I’m easily swayed by peer pressure. I learned this important lesson when I went to use the leg press machine yesterday at the gym, and I had to de-weight the machine of plates.  The woman using it before me pressed about 80lbs more than I usually do. We had about the same build and visible muscle tone; therefore I immediately felt jealous and inadequate. I raised my weight level by 50lbs. I am SOOOOOOOOORE today. Luckily it’s just muscle soreness, not any sort of joint pain; which means I can probably handle the increase—I’m just a weeny.

The second thing that I have learned is this: the idea of dieting makes me obsess over food. The first few days on the Fresh Diet were awesome. There was no thinking involved—I love not thinking! No cooking. No shopping. Just microwaving and munching. The problem came about five days into the plan The Fella asked if I was “done dieting yet?”

HE SAID THE D-WORD!

All of a sudden I started thinking, “I’m on a diet!” Followed by feelings of longing and self-pity and an appearance by the crazy lady that lives in the back of my brain.

She hasn’t been around for a few years, but I imagine that she wears a super-high-cut leotard over her shiny tights and does a lot of jumping jacks while breathing all porny-like.

When she’s around all I can do is obsess over food and think about how I’ll never really be able to rock bright pink lamé leggings or tease my hair high enough.

Don’t worry if you don’t remember the 1980s. You’re probably better off for it.

It’s all mental. I cannot use the d-word.

To be fair to this experiment, I generally eat around the same caloric intake in day-to-day life, adjusted accordingly on super intense exercise days, but I never feel like I’m dieting. That keeps me sane. While I’m actually eating tasty stuff that is well within my eating norms: I think that I am on a diet and thusly can only think about food all the time.

Friday is my last day of this little experiment. I think if you have a lot of money, very little interest in cooking, and no real interest in calorie counting this is a great idea. I, I have learned, don’t do so well with outside restrictions.

I’m hoping to ditch the diet diva soon—she’s kind of freaking me out.

I have, however, shed two pounds. I should eat dessert in the middle of the day more often.

Do you have a diet alter ego? Crazy thoughts? French-cut leotard?

Breakfast


Breakfast quiche aka: super thick asparagus and cheese omelet-pie-thing
Pineapple
Iced coffee with almond milk

Lunch


Chicken and wild rice soup
Stuffed mushroom caps

Dessert


That’s my cheesecake—it has my name on it.
I was cubiclized today in Magazineland. I brought my last two packages of food to work with me. Dessert made a nice 3pm snack.

Dinner


Office lighting sucks. I swear this stuffed chicken breast, string beans and mushrooms looked way better in person.

Exercise: 60-minute Zumba
I

Kim

Comments

  1. jessica fantastica says:

    Is that the lady from Night Court?

    [Reply]

    Kimberly Rae Miller Reply:

    OMG-it totally is! Thank you for remembering Night Court.

    [Reply]

  2. …mine is incredibly, disproportionately angry. Like…way angrier than me. I’m good natured and easygoing…Diet Tracy is resentful and ungrateful and MAD.

    [Reply]

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