Common and Stress Me Out!

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Funny thing about me: I’m most productive (…and functional) when I’m insanely busy.

We all have our quirks, mine is an incessant need to feel overwhelmed.

Lucky for me, I just got a new job, new freelance work, and started working on a new novel in a writing class…and oh yeah, the press push for my book is starting.  Hoorah, consider me stressed.

First, about the job: I can’t tell you what it is because I’ve signed a confidentiality agreement, but I can tell you that I don’t work in an office, but I also don’t work from home.  Yup, that’s my desk floating around in the ether.  Honestly, I just can’t seem to choose between being a freelancer with all the freedom and worry it provides, or working a steady job with no time for myself but a guaranteed pay check and health insurance that doesn’t rival my monthly rent.

A strange thing has happened since starting my new gig: I’ve become so much more productive.  For the past two years I’ve worked from home writing for various publications and working on my book.  Since major book stuff wrapped up I’ve been trying to find the motivation to rule the world and stuff, but have mostly sat around watching Criminal Minds reruns.

When I have all the time in the world, I get absolutely nothing done.

Having responsibility outside of my own living room between the hours of 9am and 6pm each helps me prioritize my free time.  And another thing, I feel more like myself.  Besides these last couple of years I can’t remember a time in my life that I wasn’t burning my candle at both ends, and a return to that pace feels homey and comfortable, like slipping on an old worn-in glove.

This part of my personality is something that has helped me achieve some really amazing things in my lifetime, things that I’m really proud of.  But, there’s a negative side to this part of my personality.  At least once a year I have a complete and utter meltdown when I realize that I am not perfect, have not been elected to supreme fancy-pants ruler of the free and not-so-free world, and really, really need a nap.

I still have quite a few months before I’m ready for a meltdown and need my mom to come tell me that I’m cute when I’m crazy, and would I like a pie?  For now, a tightly packed schedule feels really, really good.

Easy going or addicted to stress, how do you function best in your day-to-day life?

Breakfast

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Sunnyside-up eggs with whole grain toast and strawberries

Lunch

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It’s been a long time since I packed my lunch!
Salad with lettuce, beats, craisins, walnuts, tomatoes, and goat cheese

Greek Yogurt

Dinner

For dinner I went out to Brooklyn to nosh on some Asian-style tapas in honor of my dear friend Sarah’s birth.

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Pretzel wrapped pork

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Pork, watermelon, and Chow Mein

Kim

Boston

I had a whole different blog in mind when I woke up this morning. In fact, I’ve had a pretty exciting week—including getting a new job, but good news never feels good when we are reminded that there are truly terrible people in the world.

I really can’t wrap my mind around what happened today in Boston.

Boston has always been a place I have felt safe.  I went to school there, and have honestly feel like Boston has been more of a home to me than my hometown—it’s the place I figured out who I was, where I started my adult life…where I had my first apartment.  I just can’t believe someone would target Boston, beautiful, historical Boston for something so awful.

My heart goes out to the amazing people of Boston, to the runners and the families and spectators who came from all over the world for today’s race.

My thoughts are also with the marathon community.  This has been a hard year for runners, with the New York City marathon being cancelled due to Hurricane Sandy; now this.  Many of the runners today were racing to raise money for charities—running for people who can’t. And I know people will think twice before signing up for a marathon again after this year—I know I had a moment questioning my next phase of race training (which starts next month).  Fear is natural, but if it keeps people from running future races the results will be devastating for so many charities that depend on sporting events like the marathon to fund research, outreach, and community programming.

I will run my race in September, and I won’t take a single second for granted.

And I hope whoever was responsible for today’s attack contracts the Ebola virus.

It seems tacky to post pictures of my food, but that’s my blog, so here’s what I ate.

Breakfast

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Trader Joe’s High Fiber Cereal with banana and almond milk

Lunch

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Basically a Greek salad with chickpeas for added protein
Fruit salad

Dinner

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Shakshoukah

Kim

October Resolutions

I start off every month doing two things. The first is saying to myself, “Holy crappola, how is it January/February/March/April/May/June/July/August/Septemeber/October/November/December already?” Then I read my detailed Astrologyzone.com horoscope. Seeing as how I’m a Capricorn it always says pretty much the same thing: Dear Capricorn, you’re going to work, work, workidy-work this month. Sometimes being the work horse (or goat) of the zodiac isn’t particularly exciting, but at least for the last year it has been relatively true.

September was the first real break in crazy stress I’ve had in a long time, and now that I’m back from my well-needed vacation it’s time to get back to my Capricorn ways, at least for the time being. I’m in the homestretch of book stuff now. I’m now in the revising stage, which is a whole new level of “Wow, this is hard, why did I decide to do this” but I can see the finish line in sight. So, as you may be expecting my first resolution for October is:

  1. Finish book revisions. You have no idea how much I can’t wait to have a finished manuscript! I’m incredibly lucky to have this opportunity, and although I’ve been super-duper secretive about what my memoir is about, I really hope that the final product will be something that is both an enjoyable read and will help people come to terms with their own personal hardships.

But, that’s boring, and even Capricorns can’t be all work and no play, so the here are some of my other goals for this month:

  1. Rock my Jessica Rabbit Halloween costume. The skin tight sequined dress is in my possession, and it is probably the sexiest I’ve ever dared to be on Halloween. Please note that I once rocked a ‘Conservatively Dressed Hooters Waitress’ costume. Since the first phase of book writing meant a few too many pints of ice cream and way less exercise than I’m used to, I’m going to aim to up my gym time. Well, I’ve already upped my gym time, but now that I’m back to days of sitting at a computer, I aim to maintain my gym time uppage.
  2. Techno Timeout. One of the best things about my vacation earlier this month (other than the eye pus, which was super exciting) was how free I felt from my technological bindings. The smartphones, e-mail, and social media sites that are meant to make our lives easier and connect us all can sometimes feel, at least to me, like chains I just can’t escape. I’ve decided to make Sundays in October digital detox days, meaning no phone, no email, no scouring Google Reader for updates of my favorite blogs. Book reading, cooking, conversation and cuddling—that’s what I’m prescribing for this month.
  3. Leave nice reviews. I realized recently that I only tend to leave reviews on sites like Amazon or Yelp when I have experienced bad service. How unfair is that to the companies that provide me with great service on a daily basis? This month is about accentuating the positive—just not on my digital detox day.
  4. Dress like a grown up. I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I spend most of my days in yoga pants and tank tops. Working from home has a somewhat stunting effect on ones ability to dress themselves. BUT I actually feel better about myself, and am more productive when I get dressed in real clothes and even do inconsequential things like brush my hair and put on makeup.

Work. Dress up. Power off. Say nice things. Get pretty. That’s what’s in store for me this month. What are you resolving for October?

Kim

July Resolutions

Oh, so now it’s July. Every thirty or so days someone throws a new month my direction. When will this craziness end?

A funny thing happened between the hysterical freakout that I was having in the beginning of June and now—I found calm. I don’t have any less work to do or pressure to deal with; I just simply stopped focusing on the things I couldn’t change and started focusing on what I could do, bit by bit, and hope for the best.

I have no idea how this change occurred (maybe I’m growing up and becoming a rational and well-adjusted human being or maybe I’m completely delusional) or how long it will last, but I’m most certainly going to take it and run with it and use it as inspiration for my July Resolutions.

  • Work hard but short. I can’t escape this whole work thing, I have six weeks left of crunch time, but my goal this month is to remember to take intermittent breaks and not give self-degrading anti-pep talks when I can’t sit still for 12-hours at a time of uninterrupted writing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last five months it is that my attention span generally has 2-hour cap, and then I have to go for a walk, go to the gym, eat a banana, or watch something brainless on TV for an hour to let it recharge…and then I can get back to work. As in dieting or budgeting or anything else I think it’s pretty important to know yourself and how you function best in a work environment. Now I know.
  • Eat less dairy. I’m trying to phase out dairy. I recently re-read Veganist and the animal suffering aspect of the book really hit home for me. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to cut it out completely in regard to social situations, but I can stop buying it for home use.
  • Blog more. I know, I know, I resolved that last month. The good news is that The Fella has finally hooked up a router at his house (for the last year I’ve been Internetless when I’m not at home), this should help with being able to blog on a regular basis. Hoorah. Of course, in another couple of months we’ll be moving in together and this whole issue will be completely null and void.
  • Give one compliment a day. Acknowledging people is important, even people you don’t know. Throughout the day I can probably list off a hundred nice things I think about people but don’t tell them. That’s a great shirt, you really said that well, you have great skin, etc. I’m not sure why it is I don’t speak up and say these things aloud, so when they come to mind I’m going to actually attempt to do the unthinkable, tell the people I’m thinking them about.

Certainly not my most ambitious month, but as I said, I’m taking this life bit by manageable bit. What are you resolving for July?

Kim

June Resolutions


Photo Credit

Oh. My. God. It’s June.

Excuse me while I hyperventilate into this paper bag.

[heeeeeee, hooooooo, heeeeee, hooooo, heeeeee, hooooooo]

Okay, that’s better.

This June I am resolving to work really, really, really hard, and be kind, and maybe do my best about not eating junk food and getting to the gym regularly. But mostly, I’m just going to focus on working really, really, really hard.

I have two months to finish the first draft of my manuscript, a task that has been much harder than I originally anticipated.

Uh, next time I decide I want to write a book, someone remind me to not write one about myself!

I do apologize that my blog has become somewhat sporadic in posting lately and mostly consists of me having a nervous breakdown, but that’ll be over soon enough, and I can go on about my daily business figuring out how to be healthy and happy and not a maniac.

So, here are my resolutions for June:

  • Write at least 1500 words a day. My manuscript is about half done, which sounds cool, except for the fact that I only have two months to spew out the other half. I spent a good portion of the past four months writing and re-writing the same sections. I totally spiraled down a rabbit hole of rewriting and now I have get out and get finished.
  • Keep getting up at 6am. Operation morning exercise has been going well, and it has definitely added a feeling of accomplishment to my days. I may not be able to go as hardcore at the gym as I like, but if I can get there four days a week I’ll be happy.
  • Balanced eating. I’m not putting any crazy restrictions on my diet. Gluten, sugar, dairy, meat, etc will come and go, but right now all I care about is fueling my body and mind efficiently, without over fueling so I feel all bloated and gross while sitting at my computer ALL DAY.
  • FINALLY PAY OFF MY CREDIT CARDS! Contract signed and my signing bonus is on its way, which means after months and months of serious budgeting and lamenting about my credit card balance I can pay off my debt and live within my means again. Yay means. Count that New Year’s Resolution accomplished.
  • Blog more. The reason I haven’t been blogging much lately is twofold: for starters I’m insanely boring. There is literally nothing going on in my life that is not staring endlessly at my computer. Secondly, I keep running out of words by the end of the day. I’m going to try, really try, to not spew boring things out into the Internet, but to blog more nonetheless.

That’s about all I can handle. What are you resolving for June?

Kim

How to Have a Jobby-Job

I had an interesting weekend to say the least, but one of the highlights was getting to speak with a young woman who is interested in starting a career in the magazine industry.

Let me rewind: A good friend of mine is a corporate recruiter. As someone who started my career in the non-profit arena, I have to say I think my friend does just as much, or more, on a daily basis to make the world a better place, than a lot of charities. One of those things is going around to colleges and talking to students about what the job market is really like, how to present themselves to companies upon graduation, and you know—giving them jobs.

I don’t know if you remember how scary it was graduating from high school or college and having to figure out what to do with the rest of your life—but having someone to tell you that you are employable and will be okay goes a long way!

At a recent event she met someone that really impressed her, but someone outside of her area of expertise. Unlike the accounting and finance majors she was used to meeting and greeting, this young lady wants to work in magazine production. She called me on her way home from the event and asked if I would share my experiences in that arena.

Now, I would not go so far as to say that I’m an expert, but I’ve been lucky enough to work for various magazines and publications over the last few years. AND, there were so many people willing to sit down with me and share their experiences and advice when I was younger.

So, on Saturday I met with a really lovely girl, with a really bright future. The experience got me thinking about what I think about the most important professional advice I’ve received or learned over the years—and the truth is I think it kind of transcends most professions. I mean sure, I gave some publishing specific tips, but most of my advice was pretty general.

Here are the tidbits I’ve learned in my 9-years of grown-up jobs, and many years before that of not-so-grown up jobs.

Networking
I think that for a lot of people the word “networking” dredges up images of cheap suits, sweaty palms, toothy grins, and business cards. That’s not how I see it. I really, more than anything else, believe networking is about making friends. That takes time, but it’s worth it. Taking time to get to know people, their likes and dislikes, and the ins-and-outs of their lives, and allowing them to know you and yours—not only adds more to your social life and support system, but it means that you will be prime time on their radar when something that fits your skill set and interests crosses their desk. I would say that I have gotten the majority of my freelance work not by applying, but through my network of professional and personal friends.

Be the Kind of Person People Want to Spend Time With
It’s important to be good at your job, but isn’t it even better if you actually like being there? I can’t help but think that decision makers feel the same way. While it’s sometimes easy to think of bosses as stodgy authoritarians, they’re just people. People like to be around people that they like. And sometimes those people leave jobs and take the people that they like with them. And sometimes those people see interns and think, “They would really add something to the dynamic around here.” I don’t consider this ass-kissing, I consider it more friend-making. You can’t force relationships on people, but you can be open to getting to know them, be around for post work drinks, and coffee machine chit-chat. Those are the little moments that make the work day so much more manageable. Those are the moments that stick out when you think about why you like your job.

Toot Your Own Horn
Despite what you may have heard, bragging isn’t bad. Well, it’s not bad when it’s done in a subtle way. When you tell people what your strengths are, more times than not they will believe you. They will also squirrel that info away for rainy days when they realize they need someone who is really good at color-coding/alphabetizing/investing/project management—and they know that’s your strong suit.

It’s Okay to Suck at Stuff
I am incurably honest about what my short-comings are. For starters, as a writer I have an almost comical misunderstanding of grammar rules. I don’t deny it. I compensate for my shortcomings by having a network of people I trust to proof my work. But, if something slips through the cracks, well—I told you so. If you’ve proven yourself (and bragged a bit in the process) in a work environment, you are valued. You are also human, and if people know what you’re not great at, you may reach a point where that part of the job, depending on the kind of job, is sourced to someone who is good at it. Being honest about sucking is like sucking insurance.

Even Bad Jobs are GoodI have had just about every job under the sun. I have worked at Chuck E. Cheese. I’m a licensed security guard in the state of New York. I’ve been a nanny, an admin, a hostess, and envelope stuffer. I’ve also had quite a few jobby-jobs, and from all of them I have learned what I like and what I don’t. I love the social aspects of being a waitress, nanny, and giant rat. I love the order and organization of admin work. I love the independence of freelancing. BUT, I’ve had some pretty craptacular work experiences too. From those I’ve learned what I don’t like, what I absolutely do not ever want to do again. The really important information to know about your professional life, is that like most things in life, you have more power than you probably think you do. Life’s too short to spend 40-hours a week, every week for 50 years, being unhappy. Learn what you don’t like, and don’t do it.

I probably have a few more professional life lessons hidden in my psyche, but this has become quite the lengthy blog. Now it’s your turn: What work-life lessons would you share with someone just starting out?

Breakfast


Trader Joe’s low carb tortilla, scrambled egg whites, tomato, lite cheese

Lunch


Veggie burger, cheese, gluten-free bun
Steamed vegetables

Dinner


Chicken noodle soup
Salad with lettuce, tomato, feta, olives, cucumber, lemon vinaigrette

Exercise: 30-minute strength training, 60-minute walk

 

Kim

How Many Perfectionist Analogies Can I Put in One Blog?

Stop me if you’ve heard this one:

There was a little girl,

And she had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good

She was very, very good,

And when she was bad she was horrid.

When I was a little girl I had curly blond hair (those were the days), and my mom would recite this poem to me nightly at bedtime. I thought it was about me, and may have taken a wee bit of offense to being referred to as ‘horrid’ on a daily basis. The older I get, the more sure I am that it is about me.

I’m guessing that I’m not alone in the feeling that life is  about juggling a whole bunch of plates, and the thing about juggling is that you kind of have to do it perfectly or the whole system comes crashing down. If that happens you’ve got a whole mess to clean up…and a new set of plates to get up in the air.

When I am good, I’m very, very good. In those moments that I’m on I somehow magically balance work, hobbies, healthy eating, gym-going, friends, and family with the greatest of ease.

When I’m bad, seriously I’m a total effing disaster! Drop one plate and the others seem destined to burn bridges, eat Chinese food, miss deadlines and have dusty sneakers. Lately I’ve been feeling like try as I may, all my plates are destined to end up in heaping piles of debris.

I’ve always envied people with that “I do what I can do” attitude.

Seriously, where can I get me one of those?

I like to tell myself that I’m not a perfectionist, that it’s okay to do some things well and some things less-than-well—but who am I kidding. They wrote a poem about me (about a hundred+ years before I was born)! My only options are to be very, very good; or very, very bad. There’s not a lot of room there for negotiation.

When it comes to things like diet or exercise, I truly believe that the only viable option for lasting change is by accepting who you are, what you like, and acting within those confines.

Instead of trying to turn myself into someone I’m not (normal), I’m going to just accept that I’m an all-or-nothing personality and do the best I can with that. My all just happens to have far too many plates up in the air right now to be very, very good—therefore it’s time to cut some weight and juggle what I can–perfectly.

As the late, great Abraham Lincoln once said:

You can be a total friggin’ rock star some of the time, but you can’t rock out to big houses all of the time.

That’s not what he said.

For now, I’m working on my priorities, paring them down and letting my natural disposition take its course. I’ll let you know if I stop feeling like I’m sucking at life.

Breakfast


I’m visiting my family this week. Bad lighting, good cereal.
Cheerios with banana, skim milk

Lunch


Smoothie with almond milk, frozen strawberries and banana, vanilla whey protein

Dinner


Salad with homemade blue cheese dressing

Chicken soup

 

Kim

The Secret’s Out: I’m Writing a Book!


This is my new office. Courtesy of the New York City Public Library.

I am on a mission to create a procrastination free zone.

Of all of my goals, this may be the loftiest, but, well I have a lot to get done in the next six-months. Because, well, I GOT A BOOK DEAL!

I’m guessing some of you have already guessed that by my totally leading blog posts for the last week.

I haven’t signed my contract yet, so I’m not sure if I’m legally allowed to announce that (but no one told me not too, either), but all the memos and handshakes are in place, and I’ve been really, really wanting to tell you all. Another writer I spoke with last night told me that it can take months before the contract actually goes through, and well, I can’t hold that in for months! Especially because so much of my life will now be spent writing about…well, my life.

Sorry, but that’s about all I can tell you. I probably won’t spill the beans about what my book is really about until it’s about to be published, but I can tell you it’s not Kim Challenge related, and it’s a memoir.

Now that the initial excitement has settled, I’m left with a feeling of complete and overwhelming “Oh crap, how the hell do I do this?” I have six months to finish my manuscript, and I’m going through a wee bit of a learning curve when it comes to creating a writing/life schedule for myself.

Writing from home doesn’t work because there’s a TV there, and televisions are very, very bad for productivity. I can’t write at Starbucks, like I usually do for most of my freelance work, because one can only drink so many lattes. I’m going to need somewhere I can sit for hours and hours on end without getting funny looks from baristas.

On the suggestion of another writer, I’ve decided to take up office hours at the New York City Public Library. It means adding a commute to my day, but it also means a quiet place to write un-interrupted for long stretches of time.

It almost feels like being at a jobby-job, because it is. MY JOBBY-JOB IS BOOK WRITING!

Yeah, that’s pretty awesome.

The other thing I’m going to have to figure out is exercise. My usual schedule has been to write gossip in the morning, then follow up with a session at the gym, andthen head to Magazineland or work on whatever other personal projects I have that need doing (which up until now has been writing my book proposal). That’s probably not going to work, because I work better during the day, and am relatively useless in regard to brain function at night. Since I don’t really need my brain at the gym, I’m going to have to do one of the things I loathe most—go to the gym in the evening. I hate rush hour at the gym, but I just don’t see daytime working for me anymore.

There’s a whole lot of adjustment going on over here, but I’m really excited about it.

Holy crappola, I’m kind of like a real writer!

Last night at my writer’s dinner (something I go to once a month to workshop stuff with fellow wordsmiths) one of my amazing comrades ordered a bottle of champagne to celebrate. So sweet!

Kim

Best Week Ever!

This has been a seriously AMAZING week.

I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been busy running around with my heart in my throat all week.  I have some super amazing news, but I can’t announce it publicly just yet.  Still, I’m so excited for this next chapter of my life.  I feel like one seriously lucky ducky.  Isn’t this suspenseful?  Do you feel suspended?

Big life changes, guys!  Oh, and I’m not engaged or pregnant.  This is more of a work life kinda change.  I bet some of you, those that have been reading me for a while can guess what it is ;)

I’ll tell you as soon as everything is official.

In other amazing news: The Fella got his permanent green card this week.  The special guy in my life is not a native American (and not a Native American), he’s Israeli.  Holy cow is it hard to immigrate to the United States! He’s spent years and what seems like bajillions of buckeroos in lawyer fees for the right to live here.  Earlier this year his application for a green card was denied and I have been petrified that he’d be deported ever since. Luckily his appeal was successful and now we can breathe a whole lot easier.

A dream come true and a non-deportable boyfriend.  Can life get any better!?!

Yes, it can.  I can sleep now.  I’ve been running on fumes and adrenaline for so long that I totally collapsed today and slept until 5pm  (well, with brief conscious moments where I got up to write gossip and eat meals).  Ican’t remember the last time I slept all day–but I’ll take my sleep when I can, the next few months are going to be busy!

How are you spending your weekend?

Breakfast

Honey Nut Cheerios, skim milk, and a banana

As soon as things settled down I got on a train and went to visit my family.  We’re going to spend the weekend finishing up unpacking from their move in November.  Added bonus: They always have better cereal choices than I do :)

Lunch

Between nap snack:
Smoothie with strawberries, banana, vanilla protein powder, skim milk

Dinner

My mom made Chinese style eggplant over Jasmine rice.

Exercise: Funny, exercise. Ha!

Kim

December Resolutions

I’m going to go on record and say that November 2011 was the worst, most stressful, uncharacteristically miserable month I’ve had in a long time. I, for one, have never been more grateful for a new month. Welcome to my life DECEMBER!

Lots of good things happen in December: trees wearing lights, cookies as a major food group, my favorite Winter Blend coffee at Trader Joe’s, and an excuse to don velvet. December is good times, and well, it’s the last month of 2011–it would be a shame to let the year end on a cranky note. That’s why I’m resolving to uncrankify this month by:

  1. Budget gifting. Last year for the holidays I went the budget route of homemade blondie mix jars. This year I’m going to stick with the same budget friendly theme and come up with some sort of homemade, yet delicious, gift to bestow upon those I love.
  2. Get through the holiday season without feeling like crap. I don’t know about you guys, but by the time January rolls in my body has been through what I like to refer to as the fruitcake wringer. A solid month of holiday parties and birthday dinners (the anniversary of my entry into the world is in December) usually means tight pants, zero energy, and some serious feelings of self-loathing. This year my goal is this: be as healthy as I can be this month without depriving myself of holiday awesomeness. I’ll compromise by consistent gym going and clean eating between festivities.
  3. Get 9-5 with my writing self. This past month was a blur of failing miserably at my commitments. I missed deadlines, called out of work, ditched friends and family, and completely forgot I had a blog. I need to set office hours if I’m going to complete all of the assignments I’m working on right now. Now that my parents are moved, my friends are married, Thanksgiving has been had, and my book proposal is back in for review—I need to focus on paying my rent.
  4. Yogify my life. A few weeks ago I was gifted a month of yoga at a studio in New York. I can cash in the gift anytime I want, and I was thinking of waiting until after the holidays were over, but methinks a little time on the mat this month would be good for clearing the cobwebs of my head.
  5. Enjoy it. Despite the hustle and bustle of the season, the crowded stores, and packed schedules this time of year is all about love. It’s about taking stock of those that you love, spending time with the people you care about, and showing the people in your life how much you appreciate them. The cookies aren’t bad either.

What are you resolving this December?

Kim