May Resolutions

 

Hello May.

Welcome to my life. I have been waiting a long time for you come around with your warm days and cool evenings, blooming flowers, and subtle reminders that life is better spent under the shade of trees than just about anywhere else.

May is probably one of my favorite times of year, it’s not quite hot but it’s not cold either, which to me means one simple truth: dresses and cardigans.

I love dresses, dresses are like pajamas you can wear outside. Can we all just agree that the world would be a better place if we could all just wear pajamas all the time?

Cardigans are like a security blanket you can wear.

Put them together and instant comfort.

I’m also excited about May and hoping that this will be the month that I finally find a balance between work-me and life-me.

To say the past few months have been demanding would be an understatement, but I think I’m finally burgeoning on a place where I can balance being a human being and work. So that’s what my resolutions for May are about.

  1. Blog. I miss blogging on a daily basis, but I’ve often ended my days feeling like there are just no more words left in me. So, I’m going to make it a point to blog more (although I’m reticent to define what “more” means just yet), even if it’s just one meal, workout, or life philosophy at a time. I’m starting this goal out with a giveaway so you should come back tomorrow for the opportunity to get swaggy stuff!
  2. Take time to live in the present each day. A manicure, pedicure, hour with a book (that I’m not writing), or dinner out with friends—go a long way to take the pressure off. I’ve been pretty hard on myself lately, a habit that has probably done more harm than good to my work. I’m going to trust myself to work hard during the hours I set aside for working, but also take a moment or two to veg. Chilling out is an important part of life, a part that I often feel guilty about.
  3. Cut out the processed, but don’t count calories. I have a trip to Israel coming up. I would love to look fan-friggin-tastic in my bikini, but right now I can’t handle the pressure watch everything I eat and log countless hours of cardio. So instead, I’m cutting out the processed foods in my diet—many of which are the fake meats I keep around for meals with The Fella. And trusting my body to know when and how much to eat if fueled with the stuff it would find in nature anyway.
  4. Set a sleep schedule. I have not been sleeping well and this has become a huge problem. When I was a kid and couldn’t sleep my dad would say, “If you can’t sleep, don’t sleep—but rest and sleep will come.” I’m going to channel that advice, even when my mind is buzzing under the covers and I’m itching to get out of bed and start scribbling my thoughts, I will trust that resting will do my body good, and perhaps even lead to some sleep.

That’s it, my resolutions for May are about not being perfect, but being good. I will trust in myself to do the best I can, but not worry about doing everything perfectly. Sometimes good enough is the perfect goal.

What are you resolving for May?

Kim

April 2012 Resolutions

 

Photo Credit:WeHeartIt.com

 

Can you believe it’s April already? We’re a quarter of the way through 2012!

Here in New York we’re fluctuating between summer-esque sun and winter weather. It appears that Mother Nature still hasn’t quite figured out what kind of spring she’d like us to have, and I have subsequently been dressed completely inappropriately for weeks now. It’s cold. It’s hot. It’s cold. It’s hot, but it’s raining. Hey look, it’s snowing. To be honest, the weather isn’t such a big deal to me—until early Fall I’ll be behind my desk typing. I’ve chalked 2012 up to The Year of the Recluse.

My life has certainly taken quite a turn this year, and while I feel unbelievably fulfilled on so many levels—I’m also going through a lot emotionally. Some of it has to do with book writing, and some is of a completely different personal nature. Balancing the really amazingly good with the heart-wrenchingly bad has had a significant effect on me. I certainly don’t mean for my blog to become “heavy central,” but I guess I am feeling a bit heavy these days, and because of that I have one very simple (or, not very simple at all) goal for April:

Honor my limits. For the majority of my life I have completely ignored any indicator that I cannot be any and everything I want to be—usually all at once. This moderately delusional behavior has led to quite a few accomplishments, but also a lot of tears, sleepless nights, and general anxiety. While I have come to accept my all-or-nothing personality, I’ve also realized very recently that there are limits to what I can handle. I’m not entirely sure I know what it means to honor my limits just yet (having never done it before), but I’m making it my goal this month to find out.

This is not the kind of resolution I can cross off of my to-do list and call it a day. There are steps though, and so this month I will make an effort to take them.

  • Sleep. I don’t get much sleep these days. In part because I’ve been dosing myself with enough caffeine and energy drinks to keep me awake well into retirement, and also because the sleep I do get is generally riddled with nightmares. In order to get said sleep, I think I’ve got to:
    • Nix the energy drinks. They’re so not good for you, and nothing I would recommend to the masses. It’s not in my character to take (or abuse) such things to begin with, but I’ve been pretty out of character in general lately. Caffeine sensitivity varies from person to person, and has a lot to do with body size and weight, and developed tolerance (much like alcohol, the more you drink of it the more you need to have an altering affect). Having said that, too much caffeine can be detrimental to calcium absorption—something that’s especially important as a woman. I’m not sure I’ll look back on this time in my life 30 years from now and think that my daily word count is worth osteoporosis. High doses of caffeine can also have deleterious effects on nerve impulses (hence jitters). Coffee does have some health benefits, and it’s my secret lover, so I’m not giving it up. But I think I can ditch the 5-Hour Energy Drink binges.
    • Chill the F-dge Out. Meaning actively partake in relaxing activities before bed. That means turning off the computer an hour before bed and doing things like meditate or journal.
  • Exercise. Fitness has always been a part of my life, and while I love to measure it by physical accomplishment (weight plates, reps, and miles), these days I need it solely for stress relief. I don’t necessarily have the same time every day to dedicate to exercise that I used to. Spending 2.5 hours to go to the gym, workout, and come back is a luxury I can’t afford these days. I can afford an hour. I need an hour a day to take care of my body. Plus, being accountable to my body has a contagious effect—when I exercise daily I tend to take more care of myself in other aspects of my life.
  • Eat for energy. To be honest, my appetite these days is almost non-existent. Every few hours I eat something because I’m pretty sure that’s a required activity. You’d think not having hunger pangs would mean I would focus primarily on healthy stuff, but lately I’ve just been eating what’s quickest to whip up, and getting back to work. This includes far more takeout and fast food than I have EVER eaten before. Methinks meal planning may be in order to both make sure I’m eating enough and eating food that will keep me focused and energized in this relatively stressful period. The good news, a good portion of this month is taken up by the Jewish holiday of Passover, which means that a lot of processed food is off limits to me anyway.
  • Sit still. Perhaps this is a lesson that others learn much earlier than I, but it’s not an easy lesson. There are things that need doing at times, that cannot be done in the present. I have heard (no, really, people have actually had to sit me down and tell me this) that life is long. The second part of this lecture usually contains some business about things having a way of becoming clear when it’s time for them to. I don’t know that I necessarily trust this whole life being long theory (because I’ve also heard that it’s short), but I do know that there are things in my life that seem completely outside my skill set. I’m hoping that trusting this whole time thing will help make things a bit clearer.

These resolutions have nothing to do with gluten, bike-riding, or word counts. But, they are the resolutions I need at this moment in my life. April is the Month of Limits, and I’m going with it. What are you resolving for April?

Kim

Best Week Ever!

This has been a seriously AMAZING week.

I haven’t been blogging because I’ve been busy running around with my heart in my throat all week.  I have some super amazing news, but I can’t announce it publicly just yet.  Still, I’m so excited for this next chapter of my life.  I feel like one seriously lucky ducky.  Isn’t this suspenseful?  Do you feel suspended?

Big life changes, guys!  Oh, and I’m not engaged or pregnant.  This is more of a work life kinda change.  I bet some of you, those that have been reading me for a while can guess what it is ;)

I’ll tell you as soon as everything is official.

In other amazing news: The Fella got his permanent green card this week.  The special guy in my life is not a native American (and not a Native American), he’s Israeli.  Holy cow is it hard to immigrate to the United States! He’s spent years and what seems like bajillions of buckeroos in lawyer fees for the right to live here.  Earlier this year his application for a green card was denied and I have been petrified that he’d be deported ever since. Luckily his appeal was successful and now we can breathe a whole lot easier.

A dream come true and a non-deportable boyfriend.  Can life get any better!?!

Yes, it can.  I can sleep now.  I’ve been running on fumes and adrenaline for so long that I totally collapsed today and slept until 5pm  (well, with brief conscious moments where I got up to write gossip and eat meals).  Ican’t remember the last time I slept all day–but I’ll take my sleep when I can, the next few months are going to be busy!

How are you spending your weekend?

Breakfast

Honey Nut Cheerios, skim milk, and a banana

As soon as things settled down I got on a train and went to visit my family.  We’re going to spend the weekend finishing up unpacking from their move in November.  Added bonus: They always have better cereal choices than I do :)

Lunch

Between nap snack:
Smoothie with strawberries, banana, vanilla protein powder, skim milk

Dinner

My mom made Chinese style eggplant over Jasmine rice.

Exercise: Funny, exercise. Ha!

Kim

What’s Making Me Happy: Weekend Edition


The show seems to be going well. My parents are coming to see it today ;)


Sleeping late


Home manicures


A new fair trade coffee shop in my hood


Organic Chinese takeout!

Your turn! What’s making you happy this weekend?

 

 

Kim

The Happy Side

This morning I woke up on the “right” side of the bed.

I woke up happy.  Yesterday was a fine day, but nothing out of the ordinary happened.  I woke up, went to work, did things that were productive, went to an audition, met up with my improv group for dinner then rehearsal.  A pretty standard issue night in the life of Kim.

This morning I just woke up with the feeling that life was about to get a whole lot rosier.  Perhaps it’s the result of me getting sleep again, or my new fangled dedication to self care, or perhaps the universe just has something good in store for me.  Either way I woke up smiling.

Hokey, totally, but I definitely took stock of the event and decided first thing that I would do everything in my power to preserve this feeling today.

I started out by stopping in at my most favorite over priced coffee shop, then proceeding to sip my java while reading a totally trashy novel (every once and a while those slip into my reading list).  I even decided not to pack lunch today because I’ve been craving a trip to the Whole Foods hot bar.

I’m truly focusing my efforts these days on appreciating the small things, the everyday things and make up the majority of life.

Tonight I’m heading to running class to run centipedes again, then I’m going to try out a new yoga DVD I got in the mail.  Simple things.  Good things.

Here’s the food round up from yesterday:

Breakfast

Greek yogurt, banana, trail mix

Lunch

Lettuce, olives, cucumber, peppers, chicken, feta, lite Italian dressing

Snacks

apple

Whole wheat pita with hummus

Dinner

Vegetarian burrito at Chipotle

Kim

Down for the count

Some days you feel like going to running class, some days you feel like ordering in and going to bed while Jeopardy is still on.

Last night was the latter.  My exhauastion (mostly fueled by my bug-paranoia) has most definitely caught up with me.  As I sat at my desk yesterday nodding off at around 4pm I decided to play hookie from running class and order a pizza instead.

Sometimes you just need to listen to your body, and my body was saying ‘go to sleep.’  And I did.  I may have hit my pillow before prime time, but I most definitely did not get up with my 4am alarm.  I rolled out of bed a little after 7am.  That’s about 11 hours of sleep.  I guess I needed it.

Greek yogurt with banana and trail mix

Lunch

Brown rice, roasted vegetables, and grilled chicken

Dinner

Salad

I’m not a huge pizza person, I usually eat it once or twice a year.
Last night was one of those nights.  I’ve had my fill for the year :)

Kim

Data Junkie

I figured it was about time to give a little review of my new toy.  It’s been two weeks since I got my magical arm band from BodyMedia in the mail.

My doohicky measures everything but my shoe size: my caloric output everyday, steps taken everyday, sleep efficiency, and activity level.  Once a day I reluctantly take the armband off and plug it into my computer where the data it has collected is loaded onto the BodyMedia website. There’s also a function on the accompanying website where I can track my food.

Thoughts for the first two weeks:

  • Knowing my actual caloric output (at an accuracy of 90%) has made me much more mellow about EVERYTHING.  Health has always been such a guessing game.  I honestly had no idea I burned as many calories as I do, just by existing in life.  I’ve actually increased my food intake, because based on the data I can eat a whole lot more and still be within a ‘losing zone’.  I’m a total data junkie now!
  • I have learned that on days that I’m busy running around doing errands I burn approximately the same as those days I go to work and the gym.  That makes me feel a lot better about grocery shopping, house cleaning, and the other chores that keep me moving.
  • I spend a lot of time in bed not sleeping.  By far my favorite function is the sleep efficiency monitor.  What I’ve learned is that it takes me a while to fall asleep and once I am I wake up a lot in the middle of the night.  I’m not sure how to fix this.  I know that when I was battling a cold last week the addition of Nyquil to my sleep routine helped quite a bit, but I don’t think I’m going to make it a nightly occurrence.  What I can do is try and optimize my sleep space.
  • The food database on the BodyMedia site is good, but the one on DailyPlate is better, with more brand names and general food options.  I sort of assume the BodyMedia database is still growing.  For now I’m monitoring on both, but when I’m calculating my daily intake I generally go by the number on DailyPlate.
  • People at work keep asking me if there is something wrong with me.  People see the monitor and automatically assume I have some sort of ailment.  It’s actually funny, and when I explain what it is people get really excited.  Thank goodness long sleeves are becoming seasonally appropriate.

I must say the aspect I enjoy most about this is the fact that I feel way more laid back about diet and fitness now.  This may be the opposite reaction some people would have, but now that I have actual data to base my exercise and eating habits around, I know I that as long as my caloric intake and calorie burn leave me at a deficit I’m in a good place.

I haven’t weighed myself though.  Maybe in another two weeks, for now I’m just enjoying the peace of mind.

Anyway…

Tonight I had running class and I have to say it was the most beautiful run ever!  My class ran around Central Park’s Great Lawn, and the New York City skyline  was so bright and beautiful in the sunset.  It was simply gorgeous and made me happy to be running, and happy to be in New York.  There is something about the New York skyline that always takes my breath away.

Breakfast

Best oatmeal ever!
Oatmeal made with almond milk and a dash of maple syrup, diced pear and toasted almond slivers

Lunch

Pumpkin lime soup with whole wheat crackers

Snack

I took a mid-afternoon run to a deli for some protein.  I was feeling a bit sluggish:
Hard boiled egg, chicken, avocado, mushroom

Dinner

Warning: The dinner you are about to see is not pretty.  Spaghetti squash does not look quite as appetizing when mixed with spaghetti sauce.  To be honest, this will probably be my last adventure in spaghetti squash (after I eat the other half).  Verdict: my least favorite squash.

Grilled tuna steak

Spaghetti squash and Trader Joe’s Marinara sauce

Kim

October Resolutions

October!  Or, Oktober, as we say in my German class.

Usually, I see the Fall as nothing more than a precursor to the arctic tundra that is winter.  I don’t really do winter well.  Thusly, the Fall is usually an easing into hibernation for me.  Not this year though, this October I resolve to make the most of the crisp air and the falling leaves.

Here are my resolutions for October:

  1. Make the most of Fall foods.  I’m trying to convince friends that they want to go apple picking, but besides apples, there are all sorts of foods that are in their prime at this time of year: Pumpkin, squash (okay, this genre includes pumpkin), pomegranate, cranberries, sweet potatoes, leeks, grapes, mushrooms.
  2. Brave the chill.  I signed up for another session of running classes that will take me into December.  In addition to my runs in Central Park twice weekly, I’m making it my mission this month to take in the beauty that is the Fall by walking more.  Come December walking anywhere is going to seem like a terrible idea, so I might as well take it all in now.
  3. Save the bacon.  Not the real bacon, which would be gross to save, the figurative bacon.  Budgeting has been on my mind a lot lately.  I’ve finally figured out a budget I can stick to, one that I don’t deem overly severe.  Now that I’ve made that first step I’m going to actually try to stick to that by spending smartly (many thanks for all your food budgeting ideas), and socializing more serenely.  I would say a sizable portion of my weekly spending is spent socializing with friends, but having surveyed said friends, they agreed that spending less money is a good idea and they would be totally down with coming over for some popcorn and cheap wine as opposed to out for expensive latte’s, cocktails, and events.  It’s time for happy hour at home.
  4. Get under the covers.  One of the things that has fascinated me most in my use of the BodyMedia Fit system is it’s sleep monitoring function.  As it turns out, on a good night the most I get is six hours.  Now that the sun is going down earlier, I’m hoping my circadian rhythms will follow and allow me to get groggy a little earlier.

Food. Money. Sleep. Exercise.  Sounds like a great month for me.  What are you resolving for October?

Kim

Perfect is the new Crack

Long time, no see!

Sorry I fell off the face of the planet there for a while…I was busy being completely overwhelmed by my life choices.  I really should work on that.  I think I might actually have a responsibility-addiction.  Is there a 12-step program to get over hyper-productivity?

Last week as I tried really, really hard to fit in exercise, work 5-jobs, visit friends, and get adequate sleep–I realized something:  contrary to popular belief (and really, I’m the only one who has this belief) I am actually not capable of doing everything to the best of my ability.  Really.  I came up with a formula.  I can do everything mediocre, but really I can only do two-things at one time to the utmost of my skill-level.  I can exercise, have a social life, and eat well, but work is going to take a hit.  I can get a full night’s sleep and work, but the gym is going to fall by the wayside.  I can exercise and work, but sleep ain’t going to happen…and chances are that’s when I pass out in yoga class.

This realization seems to come second nature to some folks.  Some people have no problem saying, “I’m sorry, my plate is full, I really can’t take on any more right now.”  That has never crossed my mind–I literally consider every opportunity a challenge.  What if I don’t do it, and that ends up being the experience that makes me [insert goal word here: happiest, famous, homecoming queen, a contestant on 'Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader?']?

This realization was a hard pill to swallow for me.  Really, it was quite upsetting–but at one point this weekend I said to my mom, ” I need to stop treating my body like a machine.” And she was like “YES!  Yes!  YES!”  Apparently, she’d been waiting a while for me to come to this conclusion.

So, I did something I haven’t done in a while–I stopped trying at everything.  I took a weekend off from responsibility, from work (I even put an away message on my email), from exercise, from contemplating the health benefits of almond milk over hemp milk.  I just existed–and hung out with my parents, who turns out are very cool people who think I’m totally insane, but lovable.

Now it’s Monday, I got a full night’s sleep.  I got all my work done today, albeit later than usual, and I hit up a yoga class to get bendy, strong, and centered.   I ate some stuff too.

So, today was productive, but tomorrow might not be.  I’m going to try really hard to focus on listening to my body when it says, “I can’t work/run/spin/stay up till the wee hours of the morning…anymore.”  I don’t think it will come easily, in fact, I think it goes against the very fiber of my being, but I think it’s important that I stop and smell the roses once and a while.  When I die, I hope there’s more on my tombstone than “She was very productive.”

Breakfast

Shredded wheat, strawberries, almond milk

Lunch

Salad with lettuce, tomato, onion, carrot, chickpeas, grilled turkey, celery, lemon vinaigrette

Snack

Grapefruit

Dinner

Smoothie with almond milk, vanilla whey protein, banana, peaches

Kim

Lie to me baby

NEVER TRUST A SLEEPING KIM.

I hold this truth to be self evident, and yet, being Kim, it can be hard to not trust me.  Wednesday morning I could not get up, I was what one might call really-friggin’ tired.  So, I chalked it up to my rest day and went on with my life.

The problem is, this morning I was really-friggin’ tired too.  I have a general “rest day” rule, and that is: take what you need, but don’t take them consecutively.  I don’t like to take two days off from my fitness goals in a row because that can then start steam rolling into weeks and months with not a bead of sweat to be seen anywhere.

This morning, when my alarm went off at 4:30am, and I knew I needed to get up to get to the gym by 5am to get my run in and get cracking on work I started negotiating with myself.  Now, I am a terrible negotiator when I am awake, but boy am I shrewed when I’m sleeping.

All of a sudden I was saying things to myself, like:

“You don’t need to exercise today because you’re not going to eat.”

Uhh, what?  I’m not going to eat?  Have I met ME?!

That little gem was followed closely by, “You can just take today off from work so you can go to the gym later.”  And, “You can quit your improv class, and go to the gym tonight.”

I’m a wee bit dramatic aren’t I?  Quit my improv class, take off from work, NOT EAT TODAY!

Needless to say, I slept in, today is also a “rest day.”

Here’s the food rundown from yesterday:

Breakfast

Egg whites, salsa, avocado, whole grain toast

Lunch

Whole wheat sourdough with grilled turkey breast, arugala, mustard

Dinner

Steak fajitas

One of the reasons I was so tired this morning was because some friends and I went out last night to celebrate my friend Amanda’s recent nuptials.  She and her awesometastic husband Tim got married last Friday.  I wrote about her for my new job.

Kim