Goal Clothes–How do you feel about them?

Over the weekend I came across a skirt that had my name written all over it. Well, not literally, a skirt littered with “Kim” would be somewhat creepy and audience specific to be honest.  This skirt, was purple , and pencil, and cheap.  Three things I enjoy very much.

Without a second thought I bought it.  It is a size 8, which used to be my comfy size, but now  just fits, but it doesn’t fit, if you know what I’m saying.  I could have gone up a size except for the fact that this size 8 purple pencil skirt was the only one like it in the store.  It’s like the shopping gods were smiling down on me, and then laughing at me behind my back.

The skirt zips but is a little too tight to be flattering right now.  Usually I am anti “goal clothes.”  I try to wear clothes that fit and flatter me, regardless of my size. Often times I cut out the tags as soon as I bring something home as to avoid obsessing over sizes.  This skirt has inadvertently become my goal skirt. It is, a symbol of my underlying mission to get back to that happy place in my body.  I hate giving a piece of spandex and wool that sort of power over me, but it’s really, really cute and deserves a firm behind to show it off in the proper light.

I turn this to you: How do you feel about goal clothes?  Great motivator or waste of money?

Breakfast

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Greek yogurt with honey & walnuts

Snack

Snack 1

Apple

Lunch

Lunch

Tomato soup, half whole wheat pita, grapes

Snack

Snack 2

Peanut Butter & Jelly Larabar

Dinner

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Garden salad w/ olive oil & vinegar

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Broiled lemon pepper mahi mahi
Steamed yellow squash

This time it’s for realzies

I know I said I was back to blogging last week, but things were still a little too hectic for me to really return to my routine.  I’m back now.  Seriously.

Now for the sappy stuff:

Thank you to all of your for your thoughts and prayers.  My mom was released from the hospital this weekend.  She’ll need to go back for some corrective surgery surgery in the next few weeks, but for now she’s all mine!  Really.  We decided that it would be best if she stayed with me for a little while because my father works very long hours, and while I too work a lot, so much of what I do can be done from home, so I can be there for her.  There will also be a nurse and physical therapist that comes to visit her her.

I’m so amazed by her.  Everyday she gets so much stronger. I’m so grateful for everything.  There are no words.

End of sappyness.

I’m not sure when I’ll actually ever go to the gym again, so I’m getting my workouts in where I can.  Like today when I walked 10-city blocks carrying a full sized Aerobed.  Those things are heavy!  If you’re every looking to test your upper body strength, let me tell you, Aerobeds are way more effective than dumbbells.  This weekend I burned my calories cleaning.  I figured that since my dad is pretty much useless with cleaning supplies, I’d clean my parents house before my mom came back there, so she won’t have to worry for a while.  Tomorrow, who knows, maybe I’ll bench press my television.

Okay, back to the eating, I’ll be back tomorrow!

Breakfast 10.5.09

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Homemade yogurt over granola w/honey

Lunch 10.5.09

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Whole Grain 6″ sub from Subway with Turkey, veggies and mustard
Sun Chips

Dinner 10.5.09

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Chicken breast, couscous and asparagus

Fish in Skirts

This is going to be the week where I set a really bad example and only eat one meal a day.

It was a big meal though.

This morning I was all sorts of crazed as the refrigerator delivery men came to drop off my new fridge!  I was all sorts of embarrassed at how dirty it was beneath my refrigerator.  Note to self, move fridge, swiffer.  I was so harried to remove all my condiments, of which I’m still a bit weary to eat, that I never actually ate breakfast.  Once I was all plugged in and ready for refrigeration, I had to dash to lunch with a friend.  We were celebrating my new job and her new raise, then of course we talked about all our friends (in the positive, not in a catty gossipy way) and relationships, and everything in between.  We were actually supposed to talk shop a bit, as the two of us are venturing into business together, she’s the mastermind, I’m the behind the scenes gal.  So, three hours into lunch and a pitcher of sangria we finally decided to postpone our business meeting portion of the festivities till Monday, when we ‘re both planning on being sober.

I had class at 6:30 in the same area, so I decided to do what one does when one needs entertainment and there’s no comfy couch available…I shopped.  I’ve decided with my new jobby-job, that I’m going to reinvent myself.  I’m going to be put-together-Kim.  When I was shooting The Daily Special, every morning I had to get dressed, do my hair and make-up and look passably attractive.  Let’s just say that’s out of character for me.  I’m not exactly the kind of girl that puts a lot of effort into my appearance on a regular basis.  When other girls take hours to get ready, I’m usually good in 10-minutes.  I’ve never exactly left a date waiting as I freshened up my make-up.  In an effort to put my best foot forward, and make a good impression, and reinvent my work self, I’m going to dress pretty and wear make-up, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll brush my hair.

I bought a lot of pencil skirts, and some adorable blouses, and a cute lil grey dress that is reminiscent of the red head from Mad Men. Oh, and NineWest is having a sale, so I bought three new pairs of heels, same pair, three different colors: black, red, and green.  In a word, I’m going to be adorable!  It’s like going to a new school, you can be anyone you want.

Bags in hand I went to class.  I’m learning Hebrew.  All I can say is Peel, which means elephant.  Unless you are in Israel and about to be stepped on by an elephant, I’m sorry but I am of very little use to you.

Here’s my meal for the day:

Blupper

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Guacamole

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Sangria (Made with champagne!  You know, because we were celebrating.)

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Fish and stuff.  The stuff is some corn/cheese thing (which I didn’t eat because corn is not something I eat), beans and some sauce that was good.  Like I said: stuff.

I’m afraid that’s it, not exactly responsible eating.  Tomorrow I’m aiming for multiple meals!  Normal sized ones at that.

The Best of Intentions

It looks like I owe the folks some good ole fashioned family time.  Last night I asked my dear old dad to drive me into Brooklyn from Long Island so I could go grocery shopping without spending a months rent.  Sometimes when my food stores are seriously low it makes sense to do a little begging and pleading with the folks.  Our conversation went a little like this:

Kim: Daddy (you can see where the conversation is going when I pull the ole “Daddy” out of my hat), I have a proposition for you.
Papa Miller: (Eyebrow cocked) And that would be? (He’s been here before, folks.)
Kim: Maybe, you could drive me home tomorrow so I can go grocery shopping here?
Papa Miller: Why would I do that?
Kim: Because you love me?
Papa Miller: Love you, I don’t even know you…

My father has finally learned the art of the guilt trip.  Thirty-three years with my mom (who usually doesn’t even realize she’s doing it) and it was bound to happen.  The truth is, I’ve been neglecting my daughter-like duties, and my father has been hinting that he needs some attention for a while now.  I had to promise that I’d go out and spend some signficant bonding time there next week to fanagle my way into a stocked fridge but finally I did it.  I have so much food now!  Hooray for wholesale shopping clubs and cheap produce.  Oh the suburbs, how you taunt me with your reasonably priced nurishment. I guess spending a week in the summer time on Long Island isn’t the worst thing that could happen to me.  Having grown up no more than ten minutes from the beach my entire life can be somewhat spoiling, I must say.

But why was I on Long Island this weekend?  I was shopping!  Have ya’ll heard of Shecky’s?  It’s like a smorgesbord of shopping, the grand puma of haggling goodness, sale central!  Bonus, they have shopping events all over the country!  So, my girliest of girlfriends and I headed out to the Hamptons this weekend (I’m not one of those people, I think the Hamptons are genrally overrated, that just happens to be were the event was) to shop till we dropped.  Honestly, I wasn’t planning on shopping, as I’m trying to budget, but well, my self control has never been my strong suit.  The real reason I was there was the shwag bag.  For $20 you can register for Shecky’s famous shwag bag which has stuff, glorious, awesometastic stuff.  And some other stuff, too.  I went with the best of intentions, but left with goodie bags and a slightly lighter wallet.  I also experienced my very first beer pairing.  Who knew there was more to beer that gas and dehydration?

Here are some of the highlights:

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Team Shecky’s (minus two)

Shecky's Beer Tasting

Beer Pairing.  Who knew they made raspberry pomagranite beer? Budweiser also makes a tomato flavored beer, that was just plain gross.  I love me some Bloody Mary’s, but this just tasted like salad soda.  Ick!

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Not even the slightest bit buzzed, but really happy to be sitting down after hours of shopping!

Oh, and here’s what I bought…

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I’m really into tubetops for some reason.

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Crocheted gold earings.  Who knew you could crochet gold?

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It’s an owl!

And here’s the goodie bag:

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Shecky's Goody Bag

I’m back in New York; fully stocked with food and shwag.  Now that I have food I fully intend to get my cooking and healthy eating back on.  Well those are my intentions at least.  Today was rough because I was out and about all day.  My aunt was having new furniture delivered, but had to go to work, so I was in charge of sofa delivery which meant a lunch of organic pop tart and turkey sandwich.  Probably not what I would have chosen under normal circumstances but I tried to keep it as healthy as I could.  Who knew that pizza places had turkey sandwiches?   Will wonders ever cease?

Breakfast

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The day started out okay…
Whole grain toast with Swiss cheese and a poached egg
Strawberries

Snack

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My aunt has been trying to get me to try these suckers for a while now.  Finally, I was hungry enough to give it a shot.  I probably haven’t had a Pop Tart since high school.  Honestly, it was nothing special, but at least it was organic.

Lunch

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I split a salad with my uncle.  Mmm, vegetables, how I’ve missed you and all of your fibery goodness!

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Holy turkey sandwich Batman!  This sucker was big, and I took home half.  The guy behind the counter looked at me like I was crazy when I asked for it with mustard.  ”No mayo? No Dressing?”

Dinner

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Later on I met my writing group for writing talk.  Because, when I’m not blogging here and professionally, I’m talking about writing, and writing a book.  Sometimes, there are no more words left by the end of the day.  I was still full from lunch, but felt like it would be impolite to not eat dinner with everyone else, so I grabbed a cup of chicken noodle soup, and a cup of coffee.

There was no exercise for me today, but I feel like navigating Manhattan in a pencil skirt and three-inch heels is a workout in itself.  Tomorrow I’m actually looking forward to cooking three meals and hitting the gym.  Weird.

Oh, and the highlight of my day was walking by a moving van that was moving a cow statue!  I had to snap a picture:

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I love New York!

July Resolutions

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Whoa.  It’s July!  Time flies, I can’t believe it’s 2009, not to mention July of 2009!

I was looking back at my June Resolutions.  Obviously, I was in a bit of a funk.  Not feeling so hot about life as a freelancer.  It’s true, freelancing is hard.  This month I figured out a lot about playing the game, so to speak.  Meaning, how to get paid!  Let’s just say I’m feeling a lot better about being a freelancer these days.

In regard to my other June Resolutions.  I tried Urban Rebounding.  I was bummed.  I’ve taken it before, but didn’t love this teacher.  Supposedly there will be another teacher soon (one I already know I like), so perhaps I’ll give it a shot again later on, but instead of trampoline dramatics, I’ve taken to Body Sculpting classes which I find awesomely ass-kick-o-rific.

I did resolve to suck in as much summer as humanly possible, which seemed like a good goal when I made it, unfortunately we’ve an an unprecedented 28 days of rain this June.  Basically, we all hid as much as possible.  Perhaps this month will be better.

So what’s in store for July:

  1. Slow eating challenge.  My main resolution this month, which I’ve worked on forever, is my rate of ingestion.  I must remember to remind myself that no one is trying to take away my veggie burger and I can slow down a bit and enjoy the experience.
  2. Yoga.  I know I’ve made this challenge to myself before, and I never really do it.  This time, I’m going to stay away from the heated room for a couple of months, till the temperature comes down in the real world at least.  Instead, I’ll hit up at least one yoga class a week at my gym. I’m so embarrassed by my utter lack of flexibility, it’s time I really do something about it.
  3. Cut back on TLC.  Seriously, I used to never watch TV, now I work from home and my day starts out with a heaping dose of “A Baby Story” and progresses till I’m all in a huff over “Jon & Kate” again.  I think I need to put a time limit on the amount of TLC that is allowed in my life.  It’s not you TLC, it’s me.
  4. Computer nap time.  I’m instituting a computer bed time.  A time when all of my work needs to be done so I can unwind and be a non technologically available person.  I think 9pm is a reasonable bedtime for the computer.
  5. Buy groceries weekly.  I thought of this this morning when I ate left over Chinese food for breakfast because the only other thing in my fridge was milk and a jar of mustard.  I was reading Lara’s Blog, Thinspired, recently, and in a post she wrote “To eat a healthy diet, one should visit the grocery store regularly.”  It’s so true, and it’s something I’m so bad at.  My mother used to make fun of me and said I lived every day like it was a Thanksgiving food drive, scrounging around for something, often times canned, to survive off of.  I’m a grown up, one that loves food, and even loves grocery shopping, so why do I only go once or twice a month!  I’m a spaz.  This month I resolve to shop weekly!

Yoga, eating, shopping, putting down my computer.  I feel like these are very doable and very much needed resolutions.  What are your resolutions for July?

Top Ten: Things that always make me happy

Obviously I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately.  I will admit that lately I’ve been second guessing my ability to do this: be a freelance writer.  It’s not the writing that’s hard, it’s the writing enough that is.  In order to really make a living doing this I pretty much need to write from morning till night, and even though my work ethic is there, my ability to think clearly is not.  Sometimes I just don’t know what to write about, and I’m really struggling with my desire to be a person, have friends, go out, visit the gym, watch TV, and my desire to really establish myself professionally in a career path I never expected to be in, but now that I’m here really want to rock.

That’s my funk, but I need to get out of it, because it’s not productive.  Dwelling on the hard stuff never makes it seem easier, if nothing else it makes it all seem all the more insurmountable.  So, in my pro-active way of being, I’ve decided to compile a list of things that always seem to bring a smile to my face.

kitchenaidmixer10. Kitchen Stuff: Today I was wondering around Williams-Sonoma and my mind was immediately in fantasy zone. There, in my mind, I got to decorate my dream kitchen full of Le Crueset,  a KitchenAid mixer, pretty aprons, cloth napkins and gadgets of all shapes and sizes.  None of it is real…yet, but those few minutes of fantasy really do put me in an all around happier place.
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9. Haagen-Daaz Vanilla Honey & Granola Frozen Yogurt.  This is the best stuff on earth.  There is no ice cream, gelato, sorbet, or fro-yo that I would rather have.  When it comes to creamy, cold, dessert time, this stuff is the bestest.

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8. Bookstores.  I don’t necessarily need to buy anything, I just like to be there.  There are so many ideas floating around there, so many peoples life’s work available for purchase, so many books that I actually want to read!  I love it there.  I love to touch the fresh pages and people watch.  And who am I kidding about not buying anything, I always leave with something.

Coffee cup

 7. Coffee.  Coffee is my comfort food of choice.  It soothes me.  When I’m stressed and feel like I can’t think or cope, or stay awake, the first thing I reach for is coffee.  It brings me to my happy place.  I read an article recently that noted that even people that don’t like coffee are positively effected by the smell of freshly ground beans.  Apparently the smell is a serotonin releaser. 

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6. Netflix.  I don’t know why, but it always feels like Christmas morning when a new movie comes in the mail.  Oh, and the Watch it Now feature, it’s AMAZING. 

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5. Screaming Children.  Okay, this one can seem weird to people.  But I always laugh when I see kids screaming, not because I think it’s awesome that the kid is upset, but because I think it’s awesome to be able to express being upset like that.  There are times when I just want to scream and cry and stomp and yell in a room full of complete strangers, but somewhere along the road I was conditioned that that’s not appropriate behavior.  I love that kids still have that freedom and lack of social conditioning.

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4. Hooters.  If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, or if you know me in real life you probably already know about my love of Hooters.  I get the whole, “don’t you think that it objectifies women?” argument a lot from people who are generally baffled by my love of the tacky yet unrefined chain restaurant.  To that I say no, I think the women that work there know what they’re getting into and work there for a reason. There are plenty of other restaurants out there.  I personally believe that being a feminist means believing that all women have the right to be whatever type of woman they want to be without judgement.  I think the food is sort of gross, but gross in a fun way, gross in a yeah I like to watch football, drink beer, eat wings and be around girls in hot pants as much as the next guy, kind of way.  I like Hooters because it’s not pretentious and in a city where almost everything is a little bit pretentious it’s kind of a relief.

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3. Karaoke.  I’ve taken voice lessons for most of my life, but they’re not exactly freeing.  More of an occupational pressure.  Karaoke on the other hand has to be one of the things in life I have the most fun doing.  Every once and a while my friends and I rent out a private room and belt out every song we can think of.  I swear it’s like a drug, it’s a total high, and it’s fun, and there are laughs, and the end of it all it’s actually a great stress reliever. 

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2. Shopping.  Okay, so maybe it’s a cliche, but shopping really does make me feel better.  Grocery shopping makes me feel good, clothes shopping makes me feel good, shopping for gifts makes me feel good.  I don’t know what it is, but it’s very soothing to go out in search of something, find something you love and bring it home with you.  Having said that, I do not like to shop with other people.  It’s really a very cathartic, solitary activity for me. 

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1. My girls.  Those are my two best friends.  They’ve been my best friends for the majority of my life and no matter what’s going on in life, good stuff, bad stuff, heartbreaking stuff, or just a pizza on Friday night, they’re the people I go to.  I don’t know that I believe in soulmates, but if I did, I wouldn’t think it would necessarily be someone you’re involved with romantically.  I think that if there is such a thing, the two lovely ladies above would be mine.  They’ve known me my whole life and they still love me-that says a lot!

Okay, so I just finished this list and you know what?  I have a huge smile on my face.  There are a lot of simple pleasures out there; things that can make the cloudy and overwhelming April days seem a lot more manageable. That’s my list.  What’s on yours?