A Lesson in Soap

August 22, 2012 by 4 Comments

Have you ever been scammed, knew you were being scammed, and just went along with it because you were too surprised/confused/sleep deprived to do anything about it?

Well, I have. Because I’m an idiot.

This all went down about 6am this morning. We don’t have Internet set up at our new apartment yet, and most likely won’t until we get back from Israel. Since my early morning ways tend to wake up The Fella (read: drive him crazy), I decided to take myself and my laptop to Starbucks and get a little work done.

On the way there, a guy asked me if I would buy him a bar of soap.

Soap!

If someone needs soap, who am I to deprive them?

He started telling me this tall tale about being released from prison this morning and the halfway house he’s staying at not having basic necessities and him not having money to buy soap.

You may be thinking, Kim, why are you talking to a man who was released from prison this morning?

And I would say, because deep down in my heart of cynical hearts there sis a Pollyanna type voice that says that everyone deserves a second chance, everyone makes mistakes, and everyone needs soap.

Yeah. Because I’m an idiot.

As we walk through the aisles of the drug store he picks up more than soap: detergent, toothbrushes (plural), toothpastes (plural), soaps (12 bars), a giant bottle of lotion, all while asking me if I’m pregnant!

At this point I realize I’m being scammed and told that I’m fat, and yet I don’t stop him. We go to the register where I realize this guy knows all the most expensive products in the store. The bill comes out to $75!

I tell him no (Yay), he says he’ll just take some of the things. I ended up spending $40 on toiletries for a conman. But I kept the receipt so he couldn’t return them for cash.

So, the lesson I learned today is that I’m fat and gullible.

Have you ever been conned? Scammed? Swindled?

 

 

Breakfast

Soy Latte

It was early, I felt stupid, and I forgot to take a picture.

Imagine a latte here.

Lunch


Salad with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion, kalamata olives, eggs

Half a sandwich with hummus, egg, grilled eggplant, pickles and tomato

Dinner


Tonight was my first solo night in the apartment, as The Fella was out having a boys night. Since we are still waiting for our new refrigerator to be delivered, it looks like I’m still the queen of delivery. I paused my unpacking efforts long enough to have some tofu and broccoli (with a side of free with purchase diet coke)

Exercise: Until further notice, exercise will consist of unpacking and running up and down the stairs all day.

Kim

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June Resolutions

June 1, 2012 by Leave a Comment


Photo Credit

Oh. My. God. It’s June.

Excuse me while I hyperventilate into this paper bag.

[heeeeeee, hooooooo, heeeeee, hooooo, heeeeee, hooooooo]

Okay, that’s better.

This June I am resolving to work really, really, really hard, and be kind, and maybe do my best about not eating junk food and getting to the gym regularly. But mostly, I’m just going to focus on working really, really, really hard.

I have two months to finish the first draft of my manuscript, a task that has been much harder than I originally anticipated.

Uh, next time I decide I want to write a book, someone remind me to not write one about myself!

I do apologize that my blog has become somewhat sporadic in posting lately and mostly consists of me having a nervous breakdown, but that’ll be over soon enough, and I can go on about my daily business figuring out how to be healthy and happy and not a maniac.

So, here are my resolutions for June:

  • Write at least 1500 words a day. My manuscript is about half done, which sounds cool, except for the fact that I only have two months to spew out the other half. I spent a good portion of the past four months writing and re-writing the same sections. I totally spiraled down a rabbit hole of rewriting and now I have get out and get finished.
  • Keep getting up at 6am. Operation morning exercise has been going well, and it has definitely added a feeling of accomplishment to my days. I may not be able to go as hardcore at the gym as I like, but if I can get there four days a week I’ll be happy.
  • Balanced eating. I’m not putting any crazy restrictions on my diet. Gluten, sugar, dairy, meat, etc will come and go, but right now all I care about is fueling my body and mind efficiently, without over fueling so I feel all bloated and gross while sitting at my computer ALL DAY.
  • FINALLY PAY OFF MY CREDIT CARDS! Contract signed and my signing bonus is on its way, which means after months and months of serious budgeting and lamenting about my credit card balance I can pay off my debt and live within my means again. Yay means. Count that New Year’s Resolution accomplished.
  • Blog more. The reason I haven’t been blogging much lately is twofold: for starters I’m insanely boring. There is literally nothing going on in my life that is not staring endlessly at my computer. Secondly, I keep running out of words by the end of the day. I’m going to try, really try, to not spew boring things out into the Internet, but to blog more nonetheless.

That’s about all I can handle. What are you resolving for June?

Kim

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Accounting as a form of procrastination

February 7, 2012 by 3 Comments

I should have been writing all day, but instead spent the majority of today focusing on my finances. As I’ve mentioned a few times now, getting my money in order is one of my major goals for this year.

You would think for someone whose first word was “money” (true story), that I would have a better handle on the stuff. I don’t.

I’m sure I’m not the only one out there that is pretty sure they have a whole bunch of funds floating around, and no idea where they are and what to do with them. I made it my mission today to reign in my retirement funds. I’ve had a few jobs now that came complete with retirement benefits, benefits that I paid into, was vested in by the company, and then subsequently left said fiscally sound employer.

That money is still mine though, and I haven’t exactly been fostering its growth. So, today I opened a new IRA (Suzy Orman would be so proud), filled out oodles of packets of papers to roll my old retirement accounts over, and even put in an initial deposit to get this year off on the right foot. I also have an IRA that was set up for me when I was a child that I’m attempting to roll over as well. While I’m not necessarily a whiz at investing, I’m certainly not doing my money any favors by having it all over the place and forgetting all about it.

I also took reader Sarah’s advice and set up a Mint.com account.

And to top it all off, I sorted my tax documents, itemized my expenses and charitable contributions, and made an appointment with my accountant for next Monday.

I’m feeling all sorts of grown up and responsible. Now if only I could stop spending $4 on a latte.

Well, no one’s perfect.

Do you consider yourself financially savvy? Or, are you like me? If my money is out of sight, it’s out of mind.

Breakfast


Egg white omelet with spinach, onions, mushrooms
Fruit salad

Lunch


Brown rice pasta with broccoli and shrimp

Dinner


Salad with arugula, carrot, onion, cucumber, tomato, reduced-fat feta, grilled chicken, and Newman’s Own Light Lime dressing

Exercise: Spin class

Kim

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2012 Resolutions!!!

January 1, 2012 by 8 Comments

Happy New Year!

2011 is done and done.

Let’s get this 2012 party started. I have big plans for 2012. In preparation for the New Year I’ve run these goals by a few folks and most have said something along the lines of “Err, that’s really ambitious.” Then gave me the Good luck, sista look.

I can’t help it, I believe in setting ambitious goals. I have a whole year ahead of me to break down my “ambitious” resolutions into smaller more manageable ones; month by month. I say go big, or go home. Well, I say that to me. To you I say, resolve the way you know works for you.

I’m a big goal kind of person. That’s what works for me, but I know many folks that get intimidated by grandiose plans and do better with smaller, quickly attainable goals. Just like in diet, and fitness, it’s about finding what works for you.

What’s your resolution style?

Without further adieu, here are The Kim Challenge 2012 Resolutions:

  1. SELL MY BOOK! Okay, so this goal is actually kind of out of my control at this point. My book proposal is done, and I’m just waiting to ship it off to the editorial powers that be and see if anyone bites. Having said that, I really hope that 2012 brings with it a book deal. If it doesn’t, I’ll head back to the drawing board…or writing desk.
  2. See my abs. I’ve always made fitness a part of my life, but one of the best parts of 2011 is that I really committed to increasing my gym repertoire. I worked with a personal trainer (and currently date one), started following female figure competitors on social networking sites, their personal sites, and articles; and learning more about strength training. I’d like to make 2012 the year I finally see my abs. And, if they just happened to show up before my trip to Israel in July, well that would be nice J
  3. That’s a good segue into my third resolution: Get certified as a personal trainer. While I don’t plan on following through on this resolution until summer, it is one of my major goals for 2012.
  4. Get out of debt. One of the unfortunate realities of freelancing is that getting paid doesn’t always happen on schedule. I go months at a time without ever seeing a dime for my work, and then all of a sudden I’ll get a paycheck. What usually ends up happening is that my expenses all end up on my credit card, even my rent. What has resulted is a staggering amount of debt. It’s something that carries a whole lot of shame for me. In 2012 one of my major goals is to get out of debt, even if that means getting a jobby-job again.
  5. Go gluten-free. This is not a fitness related matter, it’s more of a general health one. I’m not going to go into the inner workings of my digestive tract, but let’s just say that all is not right in the state of Denmark (if Denmark were my intestines). I’m not saying that gluten-free will be an absolute in my life, because sometimes you need cake, but for the most part I’m going to try and cut gluten out of my diet.
  6. Get rid of gossip. Celebrity gossip may be what pays my bills, but this year I’m keeping it out of my personal life. Dishing dirt on others seems like natural part of conversation, people like to gossip, but at the end of the day it’s wrong and often leads to craptacular feelings. I’m keeping it out of my vernacular (except for work) and will try to steer clear of catty conversations.
  7. Learn to ride a bike. Long story. Short version: I’m the one person that forgot how.

What are you resolving for 2012?

Kim

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April Resolutions

April 1, 2011 by 8 Comments

Who loves the first of the month?!

I do. I do.

I’ve got a good feeling about April. At the beginning of March my main goal was to clarify my career goals, and nix my evil day job. Done and done. Now I’m full-time freelancing, and getting ready recertify as a spin instructor.

Hoorah!

I’ve spent a fair amount of this month working on establishing a work schedule (and space) that does not consist of me sitting on the couch watching Maury and absentmindedly typing away. I feel pretty good about that, but there’s still a lot of work to be done. But man, I miss those paternity tests.

  • Goal one: Get in spinning shape. It’s been a couple of months since this rear-end has seen the likes of a spin bike. I’ve been gifted access to a gym for just this purpose (more about that in another blog), and I don’t intend to waste this opportunity. The goal: Spin three days a week, with an eye on picking up on tips from the best instructors. I also plan on using the gym for nifty things like treadmills, classes, and weights. Now that I’m spending all day at home, working out in here doesn’t seem quite as enticing—a girl needs to get out sometimes!
  • Goal two: Clean up my eating, clean up my cooking. If you haven’t noticed in the last few weeks I have been seriously reliant on convenience foods. Sure, Trader Joe’s is better than the average frozen fare, but all the processed foods are not leaving me feeling my finest. In addition, my new gig has me eating (and mostly drinking) out more than before and it’s definitely having its effect on my energy level and waistband. I can’t cut back on eating, drinking, and merriment for work, but I can up my legit cooking, and clean eating at home.
  • Goal three: Plan for retirement. Well, sorta. I’m not about to retire anytime soon, but I do have quite a few retirement accounts floating around. I’ve spent a lot of time organizing my finances lately, but the thing that leaves me scratching my head right now is what to do with these CDs, IRAs, and 403Bs. This is a boring resolution, but important.
  • Goal four: Finish a new sample chapter for my book proposal. I would like to be super-duper ambitious and say I’m going to finish the proposal, or write 2-hours everyday, but to be honest there are some days when there are just no words left in me. A chapter seems far more doable in a month than a finished project. Baby steps.
  • Goal five: Get my volunteer on. Last year I made the majority of my philanthropic contributions to the world financial in nature, this year I’m going to give back in a more man-power centric style. I already have an appointment for orientation at a local animal shelter scheduled this month, and there’s a local mentoring organization a friend has asked me to join—I’m going to finally take her up on that this month.

I think that’s about all I can handle in the self-improvement sphere for one month. What are your resolutions for April? Can you believe we’re already a quarter of the way through 2011?

Kim

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Money, money, money

September 28, 2010 by 8 Comments

I have this theory about budgeting:

I think of budgets the way I think of diets.  At first, I’m all gung-ho, “I don’t need food or money.”  That enthusiasm usually lasts a couple of weeks and then all of a sudden deprivation sets in and I become a crazed woman, who binges on food and shopping.

I’ve learned to live around this in terms of food.  I don’t diet (except for brief periods when I get hired to do so, but I learned my lesson), I just aim for living a healthy lifestyle.  A healthy lifestyle that sometimes includes ice cream, chocolate, and Chinese food.

Budgeting is a bit harder.  The older I get the more I want nice things.  Strangely, this also coincides with a desire to start saving for the future, retirement, vacations, etc.   Last week I decided it was time to be more diligent about my finances, yet still realistic.  This is my version of a healthy spending lifestyle.

I’ve cut out some “unnecessary” expenses, like my $20 yoga classes, cable, and taxis.  I’ve set up a weekly cash allowance.  Every week I start out with a certain amount of spending money to be used on whatever I want, but when that runs out there are no trips to the ATM to replenish.  I’ve also set up a weekly grocery budget.  I have the tendency to get really excited about groceries.  So far, it’s reigning in my love of the grocery store that has been the hardest.

Produce is expensive!

This week is scheduled to be a disgusting mess, and since my legs are my main form of transportation I decided to indulge a bit this week and order my groceries be delivered (worth the expense in torrential rain).  I’ve become very aware of prices all of sudden, now that I have a limit ($50) to stay within.  Actually, I exceeded my budget by $0.99, but this budgeting thing isn’t an exact science.

Do you have any budgeting tips?
How much do you spend on groceries?

Breakfast

Oatmeal with low fat sour cream
Orange juice

Snack

This apple was almost too pretty to eat…almost.

Lunch

Homemade chicken noodle

Snack

Hard boiled egg with watermelon, kiwi, and pineapple

Dinner

I had some left over wine from the weekend, perfect for sipping while dinner was cooking.

Trader Joe’s chicken lime burger with lite Cheddar, Ezekial English muffin,
roasted asparagus

Kim

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Strippers and Service Kitchens

May 18, 2010 by 5 Comments

Okay, note to self: When friend’s mom says she’s hired some manicurist to come to her house for a quiet night of mani-pedi’s and movies in honor of her daughter’s upcoming nuptials, what she really means is she hired a man in panties to dry hump you and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

I had my first experience with a male stripper this weekend!

I found the whole thing really awkward.  I sort of live under the guise of if I want a man to rub his junk on me, I’ll let him know.  So far, this has been a pretty good life philosophy.  I was embarrassed by my lap dance, but the guy seemed very nice.  I wonder if he gets good benefits…I mean like health insurance, not other types of benefits (I’m sure he gets those!)

Yup, that was my weekend, that and walking around the nicest house I’ve ever been in.  My friend’s mom, who shall remain nameless, works in the service industry in the Hamptons (for those of you who don’t know The Hamptons, it’s where the rich people go in the summer to be with other rich people).  On our way to pick up one of her employees at a house we took a little tour of said house.  OH MY GOD!  I didn’t know houses like this existed outside the pages of “Better Homes and Gardens.”  The guest suite was bigger than my apartment building. At one point, I told my friend we were in my dream kitchen and she just laughed at me and told me we were in the service kitchen, not the real kitchen, then we went to the real kitchen, and I died.  I died.  I can’t believe that people live like that.  And, they only live there two months out of the year.

Honestly, it seems kind of wasteful to me.

I know I’ll never live like that.  I never thought I wanted to.  But at that moment, I was seriously considering putting myself up for adoption.

Then I went back to my own little apartment, in my own little neighborhood and realized I was pretty happy, and proud, of the life I’ve made myself.  I might not have a mansion, but I’m damn proud of where I am in life, even if I don’t have a service kitchen.

Sigh…

Breakfast

Egg white omelet with broccoli and lite Cheddar
Whole grain bread

Snack

Coffee and banana

Lunch

Salad with lettuce, cucumber, beets, feta, peppers, fennel, carrot, egg and lemon vinaigrette

Jell-o.  After last weeks craving I have leftovers, but I’m back to thinking Jello is gross.

Snack

Orange

Dinner

Udon noodle soup with bok choy and shrimp

Kim

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The Meager Wish List

April 28, 2010 by 5 Comments

Yesterday, inspired by a news report that the MegaMillions Jackpot is now $191 million, I played the lottery.

I play the lottery maybe 2-3 times a year with full scale knowledge that I ain’t gonna win a damned thing.  I do it, because for the five minutes after I buy the ticket, and for the five minutes before I check the numbers I fantasize about what life would be like if I didn’t have to worry about cash flow.

I decided to make a fantasy money is no object life list.  Here’s what’s funny:  I really wouldn’t change much.  I’d leave my job in a hot-second, heck I might do that anyway.  I would continue living in my cute little two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, roommate free.  Honestly, my list was strikingly short, and went something like this:

Quit
Spend days sipping coffee and writing in coffee shops, and splurging on Americanos instead of regular ole drip coffee
Finish my book proposal(s)!!!!
Buy a new house and car for the folks
Get an iPhone
Personal trainer
Redecorate my office/guest room/home fitness room
Travel wherever, whenever

That’s really all I could think of.

In one sense, it’s kind of a sad list because, well I don’t want anything truly outlandish.  No renaming of my alma mater after me, no giant yacht, heck, I don’t even want to move to Manhattan proper.

In another sense, it’s actually a kind of an uplifting list.  With the exception of my jobby-job, and somewhat satanic blackberry, my life is pretty great.  I have wonderful friends, and family, and readers.  I have a home that I love.  Seriously, the fact that I love my apartment so much is the only thing that has kept me in this evil office job so long.  I have writing jobs that lend me the opportunity to try new things and get paid for it.  I have a well worn passport, that I don’t get to use too often anymore, but I have great memories from when I did.

Sure, life could be way more comfy had I $191 million in the bank, but there’s really nothing on my dream list that is particularly unattainable.  I don’t want any huge life makeover, just some more free time and freedom to fully pursue my goals.

Alas, upon checking the numbers this morning it was revealed to me that I am not in fact a multi-millionaire.  At least, at the end of the day, I know that the things I want I can have in the little lifestyle I have now…well, minus the new house and car for the folks.  Mom, Dad, you’re going to have to wait till I become a star.

Question: If you had a huge windfall of money (presuming you’re not rolling in dough now), what would you buy?  How would it change your life?

Breakfast

My new favorite milkshake, err smoothie: almond milk, peanut butter, frozen banana, and chocolate whey protein

Lunch

Amy’s Organic Frozen Meal (so unlike me, I know, but I need to buy groceries):
Vegetarian enchilada with beans, rice, and half an avocado

Dinner

Salad with carrot-ginger dresssing

Alaska Roll

Once again my eyes were bigger than my stomach and I packed up most of this udon soup for lunch later this week.

Kim

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Taxes are hot

March 19, 2010 by 7 Comments

I feel very accomplished.  I did my taxes.  Okay, I paid someone to do my taxes, but there’s just something about not having that dread hanging over me that is so liberating.

Let me explain.  As a freelancer there is always the fear that I might owe a ton of money to the nice people who operate the government.  So I have to save every receipt (which I realized after I left the accountant that I forgot to include all my transit for 2009, but too late now), and every shred of paper that might one day prove deductible in any way whatsoever.  Most of the time I use the money I make for a little thing called survival, so I was afraid that I could be in quite the financial pickle, especially since I’m planning on ditching the day job in a few months.

So, off to the accountant I went, binder in hand.  And my accountant was kind of cute.  Of course, I’ve been sick and look like a total disaster all swollen in the sinus area and hair everywhere, no make-up.  It’s kind of the same feeling of running into an ex when you look like crap.  Doncha know he totally flirted with me! Which made me laugh because I kind of resemble Rudolph right now.  And he gave me a discount on my tax preparation.  It was nice.  Sometimes it’s a nice ego boost to be the recipient of pure unabashed flirtation.  And, I got a refund!  Pretty much, it was an awesome night.  I celebrated, and by celebrated mean that I was exhausted by the time I left the accountants office and didn’t want to make dinner, by getting a scrumptious Vietnamese sandwich and bubble tea for dinner.

When I got home I had a present waiting for me from the yummy folks at TAZO.  They have a new line of Stevia sweetened teas coming out and sent me some samples to try:

Breakfast

Kashi Heart to Heart w/banana and 1% milk

Snack

Daily dose of vitamin C

Lunch

Chicken soup (it really does make everything feel better)
Vegetarian California Rolls with brown rice

Dinner

Classic Vietnamese Sandwich with Tofu instead of pork (so not classic at all really)

Bubble Tea

Kim

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March Resolutions

February 28, 2010 by 3 Comments

Photo courtesy of Flickr

I just love it when the first of the month starts on a Monday, it always feels like a double whammy in the fresh start department.

I’m feeling good about March.  If February was the month of Body Love, well then March is the month of life luvin’.  As is the general theme of my blog these days, I’ve decided to do away with those things in my life that make me unhappy.  Life is too short to spend it wishing you were being a different version of yourself.  That doesn’t make it any less intimidating though; taking any sort of big life gamble is always scary.  So, this month I’m splitting my resolutions between immediate gratification happy-times and those things that will help me achieve my ultimate goals.

Before we get  to March, here’s a recap of February.  All in all it was pretty successful:

I ended February 10lbs lighter than I started it; not in the most healthy of senses but I look damn good naked now so I’ll take it.  My goal is to take the craptitude of my appetite at the end of last month and turn it into a positive jump start on a happier place with my body for the rest of 2010.

I slept, a lot, maybe more than is healthy but let me just say my skin looks fabulous…this sleep thing is pretty awesome.

I definitely upped my mileage and time and the gym in anticipation of my March 28th 4-mile race in Central Park.

I cut the sugar, this one took a little longer than I intended to get a hold on, but by the end of the month even sour gummy worms (my kryptonite) were of no interest to me.

As for protein, I have no idea if my quantities were higher, but I certainly don’t think they were lacking.

February, good month, now on to an even better month March.

  • Book my dance card.  No more putting work before life.  Why work so much if I’m not going to enjoy the life I’m living.  I’ve been working pretty hard at filling up my calendar with time with friends and family.
  • Get serious about saving.  My plan to quit my job may not happen till Summer time.  I’m trying to do things the smart way and pad my savings before taking the leap.  Of course, the sooner I save up oodles of cash the sooner I can say sayonara to my jobby-job.
  • Transition to outdoor running.  I’ve made this a resolution before and I NEVER do it.  I just really, really like treadmills, they’re so soft and bouncy.  Seeing as how I’m running a race at the end of the month that does not happen on a treadmill I need to start conditioning myself for the great outdoors.  This may not happen till mid-month, NYC is still an icy tundra right now. Okay so this isn’t ‘Happy Times’ but it’s necessary.
  • Get pretty.  Okay, that’s not self-depreciating,  I think I’m of the fairly attractive sort, what I mean by this is put a little more effort into my appearance on a daily basis.  I’ve always been a bit lazy about things like make-up and hair but when I do them I feel a million times better about myself.  I think it’s time I start arming myself with that sort of confidence on a daily basis.
  • No more working at night.  My schedule has been insane lately; I get up way before dawn, work, go to work, come home, work and go to the gym.  It’s way too much.  From now on, I’m going to schedule my mornings so that I get everything I need done in the A.M. so that when I leave work at night I’m free to sleep, vegetate, workout or hang out with friends.  No more living without down time!

Of all my monthly resolutions I think this month is one of my more ambitious.  It’s always hard to put oneself first, but I’m determined to find an equilibrium.

What are you resolving this month?

Kim

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