Wishing Chelsea Handler were my BFF
Happy Birthday Chelsea Handler. Today is her birthday, I know this because I was internet stalking her today.
This all started yesterday when I hit up my local book store to trade in books. I had been reading a ginormous book about the intricate and oft contradictory relationships between Israelis and Palestinians. This just needed to go.
You see…I work for an Israel based non-profit, that I hate. I just broke up with an Israeli man, that I don’t hate but certainly don’t have any interest in being reminded of on my commute to and from work everyday, and it is exactly one year since I went to Israel and have been getting emails and pictures all week from my Israel travel companions who are all super psyched and can’t wait to go back!
In a word: done. I have reached my Holy Land threshold.
So, off to Border’s I went in search of a book that would neither remind me of Israel, work, or anything to do with romance, I stumbled on Chelsea Handler’s memoir about her extremely active sex life, My Horizontal Life.
I’m in love with her. I have always had a little girl-crush on her and when producers of the Daily Special and I would get together to talk about what the show could become I would often reference her show ‘Chelsea Lately’. Truth be told though, I could never be like her. I’m just not crass enough. My humor, while a special-snowflake, is of the more self-depreciating nature while she is just delightfully uncouth. She’s also way more promiscuous than I can ever imagine being, or well, have time for…and I think it’s kind of awesome.
The book I’m reading has nothing to do with love, but has everything to do with sex. I am so enthralled with her, I keep chuckling aloud on the subway which always inspires confused looks by strangers. What is that strange sound she’s making?!
Anyhoo, I take it as a sign that I was Googling Chelsea Handler on her birthday (which is silly because of course people Google her everyday–including her day of birth). A sign that I need to get focused on getting back in the comedy scene, so while I’m still over-employed I’m going to sign up for more improv classes, it’s time to dust off those comedy chops. I have a friend, a stand-up, who has been trying to get me to give stand-up a whirl for well over a year now, he wrote to me earlier this week about grabbing dinner next week–maybe it’s time for a some buffalo wings and brain picking.
Mmm. Buffalo wings. My stomach was way better today. I could eat meals! Real ones, with food!
Breakfast
Smoothie with kefir, banana & peach slices
Lunch
Yup, still eating that soup.
Kale & white bean soup.
Dinner
Steamed zucchini
Strip steak with blue cheese (I had left over cheese, it seemed like a good idea and it was).
Kim
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4 Responses to “Wishing Chelsea Handler were my BFF”
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I love her and that is one of my fav books ever. Just the irreverence she has for it is refreshing!
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Btw did you get to Vegas and the midget yet?
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Kimberly Rae Miller Reply:
February 26th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
OMG, yes! My favorite story is the one where she buys a male hooker for her virgin-roommate and he refuses to sleep with her because she’s so boring.
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I love Chelsea too!
You should definitely get out and do some stand up. I wish I lived closer so I could see it in person.
I thought “My Horizonal Life” was even funnier than “Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea.”
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