Never Ask a Woman if She is Pregnant

According to my super-de-duper nice yet non-confidence-inspiring physical therapist (he was the only guy I could get an appointment with this month—apparently there’s an insane need for physical therapists in NYC) I should be up and running in four weeks.

Gah, I was sort of hoping he’d be like, “You regenerate muscle and bone mass quicker than all other humans!”

But he wasn’t.

So yeah, I’m just gonna go ahead and keep doing what I’m doing which is hobble slowly around town.  He did, however, say that I can start using the spin bike conveniently located in my living room again.  Which is nice, because I’m pretty sure I grew another butt and today someone asked me if I was pregnant.

Let me be clear about something Internet and all people who read said Internet, asking a woman if she is pregnant is never a good thing.  If you have to ask, you run the risk of mortally embarrassing everyone in the immediate vicinity.

I’m a little bloated, and by bloated I mean probably not bloated but I’m going with “bloated” to make myself feel better.  Let’s just say healthy meals have been hard to come by for the last few weeks (Passover coupled with an impromptu visit from some of The Fella’s friends from Israel and all the eating out that entailed) has not left me anywhere near bathing suit ready.

As of right now I don’t plan on wearing a bathing suit ever again until August, when I head to Tel Aviv for some beach reading and visiting with The Fella’s family and friends.  But, I would like to once again fit into my pants, because pants are nice and so is self-esteem.

I believe in loving oneself regardless of weight, but I’m broke and can’t afford a new wardrobe.

So, no running, but I can spin.  And spin I shall.  I think I’ll go do that right now.  If you need me I’ll be sitting in the middle of my apartment peddling my beloved bike to nowhere for the next four months…and taking many, many birth control pills.

 

Breakfast

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Whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter
Strawberry yogurt

Lunch

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Grilled cheese and salad

Dinner

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Veggie burger and salad

Kim

Ice Cream for Breakfast

When I was a kid I was pretty sure that being an adult meant doing whatever you wanted all the time—including eating ice cream for breakfast.

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I have learned over the years that “doing whatever I want” usually consists of  spending a night on the couch cuddling with a purty Israeli fellow I’m quite fond of.  As it turns out I’m not as exciting an adult as my seven-year old self had once plotted to be. But, heck, I can still have ice cream for breakfast.

I’ve been jonesing for some TLC (a “diet” ice cream chain that The Fella and I are pretty fond of) for weeks now, and last night after a boys night Roy came home with a treat for me.  Unfortunately, his surprise would go unsavored until this morning when I woke up.

Not a bad way to start day, if I say so myself.  I’m going to chalk it up to being “almost like yogurt” and considering this a healthy way to start the day.

In other mundanely exciting news I got my boot off!  Today was my first day in real shoes since breaking my foot six weeks ago.

Guys, I totally forgot how to walk!

Never again will I look at a toddler with superiority in my eyes (what, that’s how roll—silly babies and their lack of basic motor functions!).  Little ones, I know your plight.

It’ll be a few weeks until I’m up and running (literally) again.  I start physical therapy next week to strengthen my foot muscles.  I’m always up for new workout ideas.

In the meantime, I’ve been passing my day rocking out to a very special handicapable-friendly workout on YouTube:

Jessica Smith is one of my favorite fitness gurus (I recommend her “Look Better Naked” DVD to just about everyone all the time).  When I first broke my foot I jokingly Tweeted her to tell her that her next exercise video should be chair-based.  A few days later she sent me a link to a chair-based workout!

How awesome is that! The Internet is a magical place my friends.

This workout is no joke!  I have never hated a hand towel so much, nor been so impressed by it’s versatility.  I haven’t been wearing a heartrate monitor lately, but I most definitely have been sweating my way through this seated workout that incorporates cardio (ahhh, arm bike!) and strength training.  I’ve been hooking up my laptop to my TV and get the full on DVD experience.

Having access to a home workout in my hour of need has definitely helped with my foot-related malaise.

So, if you too are dealing with an injury, or just don’t like standing—check out Jessica’s YouTube Channel or website.  She has a ton of free workouts online (most to be done sans chair).  She also happens to be a great source for fitness advice.

As for food, here’s the latest.

 

Breakfast

Ice cream

Lunch

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Homemade Hot and Sour Soup

Dinner

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Roasted Brussel sprouts with barely, I added a cube of laughing cow cheese to add some creaminess

Kim

Percocet and Pudding

According to my orthopedist, I won’t be running for 2-3 months, which means I won’t be among the crowds of phenomenal women running the Nike Half Marathon in DC. The silver lining is that Team in Training is allowing me to transfer the money I’ve raised fundraising to another season, allowing me to complete my race and have time for my foot to heal properly. I love it when things work out.

I’m going to sign up for the Hamptons Half Marathon in September (which means training over the summer) and while The Hamptons aren’t exactly a cool faraway city for me, they are home. My parents live about 15-minutes from race course, so I’ll be able to share this experience with them. My dad was a serious runner back in the day and I call him after every long run to share the details. He likes to give me advice and tell me about his track star days—running has always been a big bonding thing for us; even if I didn’t inherit his speed.

What I lack for in natural athletic aptitude I make up for in stubborn persistence.

Speaking of stubborn, I’m not really one for bed rest. I hit up the gym today for the first time since my fall. Up until now I’ve been spending a few minutes a day using free weights and doing basic calisthenics on a yoga mat in front of the couch—but I miss sweaty people and cardio. The Fella was amazing, postponing his own workout to hand me weights and pull down the lat pull-down bar for me. He’s my knight in shiny gym shorts.

With a bum foot, I focused my effort on my upper body.

That’s my sexy workout face.

The good thing about the giant boot is that it makes my other foot looks small in comparison (I have ginormous feet for a short girl)

Ohmygoodness! The rope pulling machine is a torture device! So hard, something tells me we’re going to get to know one another really well over the next couple of months.

The arm bike is torture in another sense. So boring, so, so, so boring. But I need to get some cardio in.

 

As for food, I’ve been craving salad like it’s my job. I’m also hyper aware that my body needs an increase in calcium and protein to produce new bone (a chunk of bone dislodged from the top of my foot, the floater will most likely get reabsorbed by my body, and the empty spot will have to fill in with new bone).

I started off the day with a protein shake.

Breakfast


Almond milk, banana, peanut butter, and chocolate protein powder

Lunch


If he’s home, The Fella yells at me if I stand up too long, so he’s been taking care of meals. For lunch he made me a super yummy cucumber salad with olives, onion, feta, and oil and vinegar

Snack


After my workout I downed a protein pudding pack. They’re high in both calcium and protein—and they taste like dessert, a win-win for my bones, muscles, and tastebuds

Dinner


For dinner The Fella picked up salad for me at our favorite café. He asked for extra egg and feta to surprise me.

And pasta fagioli soup. Comfort food all around.

I could get used to this being catered to thing.

 

 

Kim

Gimpy McGee

I’m going to go ahead and not show you a picture of my enormously swollen and discolored foot. Look at these generic crutches instead.

The good news about this weekend is that I completed my longest run yet!

The bad news is that shortly after I fell down the stairs and broke my foot. Weirdly, I broke the top of my foot—how does that happen?

All it took was one misplaced foot and I went tumbling. I sat on the stairs of my apartment building putting on a brave face for a few minutes, so my neighbors wouldn’t think I was the kind of girl who sits on the stairs crying, until I mustered the gumption to hobble upstairs to my apartment where I proceeded to cry until The Fella got home. Once home, he assured me that my foot wasn’t broken, it was most likely a sprain, but I knew something was wrong because I have never in my life felt a pain like this (and I’ve broken my jaw—that hurt). Still, just hearing it wasn’t broken made me feel better and I decided it was time to hop down the stairs on one foot…and let Roy carry me piggy-back to the corner where we caught a cab to drive us to an urgent care center four blocks from our apartment.

I kept apologizing to the cab driver for it being such a short fare.

Once inside the doctor gave me a pain killer, and I started babbling incoherently about my upcoming race and trying to convince him that I would be fine in the morning.

He looked at me like I obviously have a low tolerance for pain meds, and sent me for X-Rays.

Which, as you already know, confirmed that my foot is broken.

Once I got home I immediately emailed my Team-in-Training mentor about changing races, so that all of the donations I’ve raise and training I’ve done wouldn’t be for naught, just postponed, and she offered to make the appropriate arrangements for me.

Huge load off of my mind. Running this race is incredibly important to me…even if it isn’t this race.

After I took my second dose of painkillers I told Roy how handsome he is and asked him if I could still go to the gym. Because my drug induced priorities are apparently very concerned about my biceps. It looks like my next two months will include a lot of rowing machine cardio and upper body strength training. I’ve also learned that my crutches are great exercise when it comes to my mid-back muscles and lats, as well as abs, and my right glute (my left foot is the one that’s broken).

I’ve set up a makeshift home gym with a yoga mat, some free weights and a Swiss ball, so my days on the couch can be intermittently broken up by what I like to refer to as “Hotel Room” exercising: crunches, donkey kicks, Supermans, push-ups (knees only, no foot pressure for me).

If nothing else, this will be an adventure.

When I was a kid I always thought that crutches looked really fun. Crutches are not really fun. Crutches are crappy. Kid-Kim was seriously misinformed.

Now, to put The Fella on breakfast duty…

Kim

Pooper Scooper

intestines

Let’s talk about your colon. Actually, let’s talk about my colon.

If these two sentences have made you uncomfortable, please stop reading now—I will resume regularly scheduled food blogging shortly.

Some people experiment with drugs, I experiment with diet and health fads. What can I say, my curious nature is more of the guinea pig variety.

I’ve been curious about colonic irrigation for a while. Curious, but not sold. You see, your colon self-cleans, and all the icky lil bacteria that live there are actually necessary, and colonics can illuminate some of them (queue the yogurt!). What finally pushed me over the edge of experimentation was a Living Social Deal and really craptacular genetics. I come from a long line of people that never poop.

Hi Mom, thanks for the sluggish intestines!

Every few months my best friend will ask me when the last time I went was (not because she finds colon health intriguing, but because she finds this particular quirk of mine hilarious) and I’ll say something along the lines of “Oh, two or three weeks,” and then she’ll give me a quasi pitying/quasi amused look.

So, I figured I’d stock up on yogurt and book an appointment.

Let’s just say it was interesting.

The actual process is just about the weirdest thing you could ever do. I explained it to my mom as “It’s kind of like doing it I the butt with a hose.”

We don’t really have boundaries in my family—obviously.

But really, that’s basically what it is. The err-irrigationist-??? (I have no idea what the legit name for the person that does a colonic irrigation for you is) sticks a plastic thingy in your bum (not a feeling I would like to repeat) and then turns the water on. The water fills your colon up, and then releases the water and then all the stuff that’s been living in your colon for YEARS starts coming out. This happens in cycles, and all the while the hose-wielder massages your lower abdomen.

I wouldn’t say that this was a good feeling, but when all was said and done I left feeling like a deflated balloon. And that was kind of good.

Afterward, I could have sworn that I was like 90lbs lighter, but the difference on the scale was negligible—still I definitely felt the difference. And I consider this particular experiment a positive one, albeit not one that I plan on getting in the habit of doing. The weirdness factor and my respect for proper bacteria levels in my curliest of organs makes me think that this was a one-time thing.

Still, I do weird things, so you don’t have to. If you have any questions about colonics that I haven’t covered, feel free to ask in the questions and I’ll try to answer in the least nasty manner.

 

Also, this video is a pretty accurate to my experience and also hilarious…

Kim

Swimming in the Snow

I am most definitely suffering from a sweet vacation hangover.

While I took photos, I’m not even going to bother posting pictures of EVERYTHING we ate because it was pure chaos!

Cruises are basically an all-you-can eat extravaganza and we took full advantage, and while a good portion of our weekend getaway to nowhere was spent chewing, and sleeping, there were some other highlights:

Separate Beds!

Just kidding, we had them push the twin beds together for cuddling purposes. But we were tempted to sleep solo for a few nights.

Towel animals.
I was obsessed. Every time we came back to the room and there wasn’t an animal carefully constructed out of our linens I was bummed.
Since we’ve been home I’ve been spending a lot of time on YouTube learning this mysterious art for myself.

While the weather outside was absolutely frigid (we were basically cruising down the coast of Long Island), the pools and the hot tubs were heated. We spent quite a few hours swimming in the snow. I think that will be the name of my next book, “Swimming in the Snow”—Harlequin Romance might be interested.

It was that cold.

For our last meal on the ship we tried out the hibachi restaurant. Our chef, Restler, was a true showman.

There were oodles of “activities” that we didn’t partake in…because we were unconscious. I don’t think either of us realized how much we needed a little rest and relaxation until it was thrust upon us. All in all, food, hot tubs, and lots of naps—in my eyes that’s a pretty perfect weekend getaway.

We’re definitely thinking of doing another cruise. Any suggestions?

As for the rest of TODAY…

Now that we’re back from vacation, I’m back to race training. Today was a short run day, so I hit up the West Side Highway running path for a quick 3-mile run. Okay, not that quick. I’m not a particularly speedy runner, but at least I’m dedicated.

It was so windy today that when I was walking home I felt frozen tear drops on my face, from the cold air and my leaky eyes.

Afterward I went home for lunch

I made a big pot of vegetable soup last night…we’ll be eating it all week.
I coupled that with a sprouted grain English muffin with low-fat cottage cheese and sun-dried tomatoes

The Fella and I met up in the afternoon for a little strength training, he focused on his back, I focused on my legs, after a short strength session I spent a good amount of time stretching and utilizing the foam rollers on my oft abused muscles.

Dinner



We kept dinner lite, because we ate it late. Salad with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion, carrot, feta and kalamata olives

Kim

How it All Began…Five Years Later

Happy Birthday to my blog!

Today marks the 5th anniversary of this little blog of mine.


If you’re new to my blog, and have wondered what the title was about, well let me tell you: A long, long time ago, in a land far away (Brooklyn) I hosted an online talk show for Elastic Waist, a blog owned by Condé Nast, and in conjunction with SELF Magazine. Well, being completely passive-aggressive in my career plans, I wanted to be seen as more than a video personality—I wanted them to notice me as a writer, but I didn’t have any clips to show them, so I started a blog based on The SELF Challenge. A three-month diet plan run by SELF. Hence the name The KIM Challenge.

My plan worked, I was offered a daily blog column (until Elastic Waist fell victim to the economy and the magazine pulled the plug)and this blog has lived on while I pursued various writing pursuits; writing for magazines, fitness and entertainment blogs, and eventually a book (Due out July 23, 2013).

And, that, my friends is why the name of my blog is The Kim Challenge.

When my initial stint with diet blogging started I expected it to last about as long as the diet. When my three months of magazine dieting were up I stopped writing, but two things happened to change my mind: the first was that people started reaching out to me to say that they really appreciated seeing what “normal” people ate on a regular basis, as opposed to the many extreme suggestions out there. The other, was that I really enjoyed blogging. I enjoyed the community blogging creates, hearing from people all over the world, and over the years getting to know them in the comment section.

Over the years I’ve become friends with many of you; I’ve visited you when I travelled or you’ve visited me on trips to New York, I’ve gone to bachelorette parties, stalked pictures of your adorable offspring on Facebook, or simply thought of you from time to time because you’ve shared stories about yourselves. All of that makes looking like a total creeper, taking photos of everything I eat in some seriously awkward social scenarios, worth it.

Thank you for reading my blog. Whether you’ve been here for five years or five minutes, you’ve made a difference in my life.

Okay, no more sap (but I’m a sappy kinda gal). Recently I’ve been giving some thought to the way I blog. Mainly the timing of my blogs. Back in my single days I had no problem curling up in front of the TV at night and doing a daily recap, these days my nights are usually spent doing some sort of organized activity, or falling asleep on The Fella‘s lap in front of the TV. I keep forgetting to blog. So, I’m going back to my roots, when TKC first started I wrote small blogs multiple times a day. Based on the fact that my days are much more free than my nights, I’m going to give that a shot.

To start, here’s a look at the ole breakfast:

Breakfast


I have discovered how to make the most perfect almond milk latte on Earth. I recently came to own a Breville Electric Milk Frother. In goes the almond milk, which is then heated and frothed. I like to add a bit of sugar-free vanilla syrup, which not only sweetens the coffee but the whole thing tastes like a big batch of whipped cream!
So, I add two shots of Nespresso to a cup of heated and frothed almond milk and my life has never been better.

Seriously, I will never be in a bad mood again. Ever.

I got the idea for today’s breakfast on our cruise (which I’ll write about later). Roasted tomatoes and scrambled egg/whites.

Now, I’m going to let the food settle into a nice cozy part of my colon and head out for a run.

See you later!

Kim

Coed Competitive Dating

Not to pat myself on the back too much, but I have just successfully pulled off the Valentine’s Day to end all Valentine’s Days.

I will remind you that this whole thing started when The Fella and I went out to dinner with friends and the gentlemen proceeded to complain about how much effort is expected of them for things like dating and Valentine’s Day.

You wanna complain about effort? I’ll show you effort. Challenge Accepted (We watch way too much How I Met Your Mother).

The Day started out with small things. I left twenty or so notes around the apartment and in The Fella‘s stuff, each explaining a reason that I love him.

Some were silly, like how he doesn’t know the words to any song and just makes them up as he goes along, and some were more sentimental, like how he tells people that he’s “happily married” even though we’re not married yet, and probably won’t be for another couple of years.

Then I left, because I had things to do. People to see. Desserts to buy. Lingerie to pick up, and hair to be done.

When I got home in the afternoon, The Fella had a little surprise waiting for me.

A nutritious lunch if I ever had one.

For dinner we went to Candle Café, an amazing vegan restaurant in our neighborhood.

The best part of the meal was by far the soup. We started with the smoked leek soup, topped with truffle oil and fried onions.
I have to figure out how to make this at home.

Next we shared a roasted portabella mushroom in a red wine reduction with brussel sprouts.
So good.

I had the sofrito tempeh with plantains

He had the sesame crusted seitan

We opted out of dessert, because I had dessert and more surprises waiting for him at home.

We left the house together, but as if by magic, when we returned the whole apartment was decked out in candle light and rose petals ;)

I’d arranged for a friend of ours to come by while we were at dinner and decorate the place, put out dessert and place even more love notes around the apartment.

As Roy searched the place for more reasons I love him, I changed into my strategically chosen evening attire, and was waiting with his present. One final note with his present in it.

We’re leaving today for a 3-day, 2-night cruise to nowhere. Let the pampering begin.

That will teach him to complain about holidays!

What did you do for Valentine’s Day?

Kim

Lessons from the Saddle

I’m back from my itch-induced hiatus. Still itchy, less bumpy. My doctor took a skin sample to biopsy and some blood samples to test for immune disorders, and in the meantime I’m on a steady diet of antihistamines and cortisone cream.

Basically, I’m like a stoner, minus the drugs. Well, illegal drugs.

If I start rocking dreadlocks and playing hacky sack it is your job, as people who read about my daily life, to come and rescue me from 1995. Interventions are a part of life. I’ll be mad at you at the time, but I’ll love you for it later.

In between naps I’ve done a wee bit of exercise.


Sorry for the picture quality. As it turns out, it’s really hard to take pictures while riding a bike…even a stationary one.

Last Thursday, right after my biopsy and against doctors’ orders, I went to a two-hour spin class hosted by Spinning ® Master Instructor Josh Taylor. The class was a part of the ECA conference being held in New York, and counted toward my recertification. Since I’d signed up for the class months in advance and knew I wouldn’t get my fee back, I took my chances with getting scar-in-the-making a bit sweaty, and I’m glad I did.

 

First of all, it’s really kind of cool to be in a class filled with 100 spin instructors. Talk about class participation and enthusiasm. There was a great energy in the room.

The class was video-based, meaning Josh guided us through a ride based around a story. This particular story was about Secretariat. Yeah, the race horse. I thought it might be super corny to pretend I was a horse for two hours, but I was an acting major so I’m used to animal-based public humiliation.

Turns out the ride wasn’t that corny, it was based on preparation, failure, experience, and going all out. You know, things that are a part of life—and a lot of the time, a part of instructing.

The video definitely kept the group engaged for two-hours—which is no small feat. Another thing I really appreciated about this class was the reminder that Spinning ® isn’t always about going all out. You can’t go at 100% all the time (a life lesson I’m only recently starting to accept). We spent a good 50% of the class going at a moderate recovery pace, maybe 40% doing hills and strength training measures, and only 10% going all out.

Now, I know this won’t really translate well to most gym-based spin classes. Most people don’t have the time to take 120 minutes out of their life a few times a week to do a gradual spin class. Gyms want their customers to feel like they’re getting their money’s worth from their membership, and since most of us measure that worth in sweat stains, high intensity interval based 45-minute classes are the norm. At the end, without fail, you will have a room full of sweaty exhausted people.

But feeling exhausted isn’t usually a feeling that keeps me coming back for more of something.

If I took anything from this experience it is that going all out usually wins the race, but not every day is race day. The rest of the time exercise is about training smart, not necessarily training hard. That’s a good reminder for the all-or-nothing voice inside my head.

Breakfast


Multi grain pancake with soygurt and sugar free syrup

Lunch


The Fella and I had company this weekend and I made a variety of Indian inspired dishes. We’ll be eating the leftovers for the next six or seven years.
Brown rice with Aloo Gobi, Lentils and Peas, and a side of spiced yogurt.

Dinner



I’m trying to cut down on my night time carbs, so we’ll be eating a lot of omelets and frittatas in the foreseeable future.
Tonight’s dinner was made with half whole eggs and half egg whites, tomatoes, carrot, spinach, and onion. I topped it off with a healthy dose of nutritional yeast for a cheesy flavor.

Exercise: 4-mile run focusing on hills.

Kim

ScratchaScratchaScratcha

Pardon the break in blogging but I’ve been a bit of a grump this week and didn’t want to share my curmudgeonous nature with the Internet.

Also…I’m back on the juice, and that doesn’t make for very interesting food blogging. This time I’m doing it for completely different reasons than I have in the past.

For the last two years I’ve experienced incessant itching. I mean non-stop scratching post over here. It doesn’t matter how much I moisturize or what time of year it is, I am always itchy. Every few months my skin likes to take it to the next level by breaking out in head-to-toe hives.

Notice how I didn’t include a picture of myself in this post?

My doctor originally thought this rather uncomfortable habit of mine was a stress reaction, but these days I’m not feeling all that stressed. In fact, right now I’m probably less stressed than I’ve ever been ever. Which makes me think the hives on my arms, legs, and face are not psychosomatic, but an allergy of some sort. Honestly, I’d rather think I’m a hypochondriac than that I actually have something wrong with me. Today was my last day of juicing, and I have a doctor’s appointment bright and early in the morning to discuss, but in the meantime I’ve been experimenting with my diet by eliminating gluten, soy, dairy, and well anything that’s not a fruit or vegetable, to see if perhaps my skin reacts to the lack of common food allergens.

To be honest, I haven’t noticed a change but it was worth a shot.  And, on the upside I’m really excited about all the solid food I’m going to eat tomorrow.

Another thing I’m excited about: The Fella came to Zumba with me tonight. The couple that makes sexy dance shaking together in a room full of strangers, is a couple that stays together…because now we have blackmail fodder.

This is what my last three days have looked like…

If I never drink another beet, I’ll be just fine.

Kim