For better or worse, one of the most drastic changes in my personality since having a child has been a shift away from my perfectionism.
For the majority of my life I lived by the belief that if it wasn’t perfect it wasn’t worth it. If I made a mistake in my penmanship, I wouldn’t just cross it out, I would write the whole page over again. If I strayed from a self-prescribed diet I would scrap the whole thing and start over with something new. If I didn’t have the right outfit or shoes for an event, I wouldn’t go. If I couldn’t do a full, hardcore workout, why even bother going to the gym at all? My life was very black and white.
Over the course of the last 14-months I’ve gotten very comfortable with the grey area. It’s amazing how quickly my need to be perfect devolved into a “ehh, close enough” mindset. Not to say I don’t care, but nothing is within my control these days. The house is messy. My clothes are usually covered in something indiscernible and slimy, my work is rushed and done during the exhausted hours after Ethan has gone to bed. Sometimes I just go to the gym to walk slowly on the treadmill and watch a movie. My hair is, oy…I need to cut my hair–I totally understand mom hair now. And my diet…well, I’m working on it, but not with the laser focus I used to.
I’ve been reading a lot about how to manage my autoimmune disease through diet. A lot of recent literature suggests that a Paleo-esque diet helps moderate the hormone fluctuations and inflammation associated with Hashimoto’s. But, umm, there are a lot of moments in my life that aren’t Paleo friendly, preparing toddler approved meals (sure, sure, I thought he would just eat what I ate and have a really broad, accepting palate…before I had him), trying out the restaurants in our new hometown. birthday cake, cocktails with friends. You know. So my mentality these days is mostly Paleo. During the day-to-day I’m happy to make separate meals for me and my guys (I do much of the time anyway since they’re vegetarian and I am not), but if I have to taste some mac and cheese to make sure it’s palatable–no stress. If there’s a cute little ice cream shop that needs trying on our weekend adventures, that’s okay. If a girl’s outing includes vineyard hopping on the North Fork of Long Island, I’ll take two.
Since most days are normal, run-of-the-mill days I feel like this is a pretty livable balance.
So here’s what my day looked like yesterday, and one of my August resolutions.
FYI, I’ve been posting more of my recipes on Instagram than on my blog. If you want to look up some of the things I make follow me on Instagram at @kimberyraemiller.