The Magical Art of Imperfection

I used to think that I would never let my child watch TV. But I do. Because I’m not perfect and sometimes you need the kind of chill only a Disney movie can provide.

For better or worse, one of the most drastic changes in my personality since having a child has been a shift away from my perfectionism. 

For the majority of my life I lived by the belief that if it wasn’t perfect it wasn’t worth it. If I made a mistake in my penmanship, I wouldn’t just cross it out, I would write the whole page over again. If I strayed from a self-prescribed diet I would scrap the whole thing and start over with something new. If I didn’t have the right outfit or shoes for an event, I wouldn’t go. If I couldn’t do a full, hardcore workout, why even bother going to the gym at all? My life was very black and white. 

Over the course of the last 14-months I’ve gotten very comfortable with the grey area. It’s amazing how quickly my need to be perfect devolved into a “ehh, close enough” mindset. Not to say I don’t care, but nothing is within my control these days. The house is messy. My clothes are usually covered in something indiscernible and slimy, my work is rushed and done during the exhausted hours after Ethan has gone to bed. Sometimes I just go to the gym to walk slowly on the treadmill and watch a movie.  My hair is, oy…I need to cut my hair–I totally understand mom hair now. And my diet…well, I’m working on it, but not with the laser focus I used to. 

I’ve been reading a lot about how to manage my autoimmune disease through diet. A lot of recent literature suggests that a Paleo-esque diet helps moderate the hormone fluctuations and inflammation associated with Hashimoto’s. But, umm, there are a lot of moments in my life that aren’t Paleo friendly, preparing toddler approved meals (sure, sure, I thought he would just eat what I ate and have a really broad, accepting palate…before I had him), trying out the restaurants in our new hometown. birthday cake, cocktails with friends. You know. So my mentality these days is mostly Paleo. During the day-to-day I’m happy to make separate meals for me and my guys (I do much of the time anyway since they’re vegetarian and I am not), but if I have to taste some mac and cheese to make sure it’s palatable–no stress. If there’s a cute little ice cream shop that needs trying on our weekend adventures, that’s okay. If a girl’s outing includes vineyard hopping on the North Fork of Long Island, I’ll take two. 

Since most days are normal, run-of-the-mill days I feel like this is a pretty livable balance. 

So here’s what my day looked like yesterday, and one of my August resolutions. 

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs and an Israeli salad.

Snack: Coconut water blended with frozen fruit. It’s like a slushie that I can give my kid to get some fiber into him.

Lunch: Pork chop and baked summer squash chips.

Dinner: Roast chicken, asparagus and salad made from veggies my BFF grew in her garden.
And a rum punch cocktail, because the days are long and I’m not perfect.

 

FYI, I’ve been posting more of my recipes on Instagram than on my blog. If you want to look up some of the things I make follow me on Instagram at @kimberyraemiller. 

 

 

  1. “It’s amazing how quickly my need to be perfect devolved into a “ehh, close enough” mindset.”

    Perhaps they’ve evolved, not devolved darling. Welcome to my world of grey. It’s a lovely place to be 🙂

  2. What drives us to perfection in the first place? I love to bake, it’s my Zen-like relaxation. In the 1990’s, I competed in culinary arts competitions and won 69 ribbons in four years. Almost 20 years later, if my baked goods don’t rise to competition worthy, I’m tempted to trash them rather than let anyone see the inperfections. Then, I remind myself that what I believe to be a failure would instead be considered someone else’s success. After much thought, I believe perfection, like beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

    P.S. Chris loaned me Robin’s copy of your new book. I’m excited to read it as I know you will bare your soul, warts and all. No offense inteded, just a figure of speech.

  3. This post made me happy for you. Sometime before the little guy, you posted and asked for mom-tips. Mine was something along the lines of “forgive yourself” because you would/will make mistakes. This evolving into the grey tells me you will do just fine. It is hard for those of us with perfectionist tendencies to realize that the beauty of life lies in the imperfections. Taking the afternoon to go to the pool or the beach rather than mopping the floor is important. Yes, having a clean house/shaved legs/finished laundry is important but he won’t remember (or care) that your refrigerator needs to be cleaned! He will remember the times you played with him and hubby will remember when you sat in the evening to spend time with him. Congratulations! You are doing human very well.