I have to say, I have a good feeling about this year. I’m not sure why, but my instinct is that there is a lot of good to be had in 2017. I also feel like this is the year I make my life smaller and simpler.
My life goals in the past have come very close to world domination (okay, maybe not quite that lofty). I have always pushed myself to test the boundaries of my comfort zone, to work harder and longer, to share the parts of myself that are the most sacred and to give of myself freely and without reservation. I’m so very used to huge goals and big changes, that this instinct to insulate my life feels like a monumental shift. I can’t help but feel like it all started when I was in labor, when I woke up in the middle of the night with contractions and spent hours alone, in the dark, quiet of my apartment experiencing something so different than anything I had ever experienced before—in that moment the quiet felt sacred, so much so that I didn’t even want to wake my husband. And while labor is long behind me, I still feel this overwhelming need to quiet the world I live in.
I’m certainly scared of our impending move. I don’t know how to be a grownup outside of New York City, and will certainly miss the ins and outs of our routine here—all of which is in walking distance. But I do think that it is coming at exactly the right time; a time when our focus needs to be internal, when our cost of living needs to decrease, and we need to be closer to our support system.
I guess, I feel like 2017 is the year I become a real life grown up. I mean, I’m well into my thirties, married, and with a child, but still—everything about this year seems different
We rang in the New Year by going to a house party. A couple we don’t know all that well, who we see at the same Christmas party every year, but who also welcomed their first child, a daughter, this year had invited us to their home. A beautiful, enormous apartment on the Upper East Side. It was lovely, and in times gone by I probably would have been jealous; I would have gone home and immediately started plotting how I could work harder and make more and figure out a way to afford a home like that, but I didn’t. I feel at peace with the changes coming our way this year. They’ll be stressful, but I’ve gotten somewhat used to the constant hum of chaos in our lives—it will be like this for many years, until it’s not, and then I will miss it, I’m sure—or at least that’s what I tell myself. We have our own home on the horizon, and I am determined to enjoy the chaos, to take it in stride, and when it becomes too much for me to handle, as it will from time to time, to ask for help. Because my world will be smaller and simpler and that is how it all feels more manageable.
How is 2017 starting off for you?