I said, “Shut Up!”: An Engagement Story

To give a little insight into what I am about to tell you, I need to give you a insight into my personal ability to handle heightened emotion. While watching a television show or movie and something suspenseful/sad/incredibly happy happens, I fast-forward or walk around my home doing chores until emotions have returned to a nice normal level that I can process comfortably.  For the record, I am a terrible person to watch television with.

This phenomenon happens in real life to.  The Fella likes to say that when anything big happens in my life (which lately has been pretty often, knock on wood) I become completely cloistered.  Basically, I’m like the groundhog who saw his shadow; exciting stuff scares the crap out of me and I burrow as far into my tunnel as I can.

Okay, now, on to the blog.


Tuesday started like any normal day in my life.  I took a bus full of people I couldn’t understand (not so different than my life in New York, actually) to the north of Israel, The Golan Heights overlooking the Sea of Galilee—kind of a famous place, this is where Jesus is said to have walked on water.

Our bus dropped us off in the wrong stop, so I had my very first hitchhiking experience (I’m expecting a call from my mother in 3…2…1).  While I would never hitchhike in America, there’s something very communal about Israeli life.  There’s enough stress to living here, there’s no time for homicidal maniacs.

Eventually we made our way to our “Tzimmer.” There’s no translation for this, it doesn’t really mean anything in Hebrew either, but to translate the idea, it’s basically a love shack.









Once we settled in, and I had finished photographing every last inch of the place, Roy and I went for a dip in the pool-cuzzi (it was either an enormous Jacuzzi or a very small pool) on the outdoor deck.


There was a nap, a shower, and a bit of bonding with the stray cat who adopted us over a beautiful sunset




Eventually, our dinner arrived.  The meals were provided by a woman who lived in the village around the Tzimmer, which she dropped off via picnic basket each morning/evening.


Okay, this picture was from the morning, but I thought it was so funny I had to use it.

 We set the table for a dinner of:


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Mushrooms in a cream sauce, salad, and vegetable quiche

Okay, now for the part you’ve been waiting for…

Over dinner Roy started saying a whole bunch of really nice things, which isn’t really rare for Roy.  He often makes random speeches about how much he loves me and can’t imagine his life without me, so as flattered as I was, I didn’t really think much of it.  Plus, the atmosphere was super-duper romantic, which makes for a perfect venue for such pontifications.

And then he got down on one knee.  At which point, I don’t know what happened because I covered my face with my hands and refused to look at him.

He said, “Kimberly Rae Miller, will you marry me?”

And, I said, “Shut Up!”

My response to the love of my life asking me to marry him was “shut up.”  But I didn’t only say it once while burying my face in my hands, I said it twice.

“Shut UP!”

To his credit, he laughed and waited for me to nod my head yes. To which he said, “Is that a yes?”

I eventually managed to squeak out words.

He then informed me that I would need to take one of my hands away from my face because he needed to put a ring on it.

Guys, I didn’t even look at the ring.  I was engaged for about ten minutes before I looked at my hand.

When I finally looked, this is what I found:

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Not the best picture, it’s really sparkly.

Roy made the ring himself.  Well, with the help of a jeweler.  But he designed it, and I think he did a pretty amazing job. We actually have to make a few adjustments to it, because the jeweler didn’t really follow all of his directions, and Roy didn’t actually see the ring until we landed in Israel a few days ago.  So, we’re heading to the jeweler today to discuss adjustments that will allow me to close my hand comfortably—it will be sad to say goodbye to it for a few days.

So, Yeah, I’m going to be Mrs. The Fella.. Now if you’ll excuse me,  I’m going to go into hiding for the foreseeable future.

Now, who has a great engagement story to share with the comments?

  1. Congratulations to you and Roy! I wish you many years of love and happiness!!
    Patty<~~~~~~~with no engagement story.

  2. Congrats Kim, I started following your blog after your book was featured on Yahoo. I like you much already. Happy for you future Mrs. Fella 🙂

  3. When I realized what my now husband was doing…. I said “oh my god, is this really happening?” – out loud! Not in my head, not to myself, but cut him off and said it out loud. Lol!!!

    It’s those kind of things that make for great stories and an adventurous life!

    Congratulations and best wishes in your future with the fella. I am very excited for you both!

  4. Yay! I’m so excited for you! I love that he knew to just laugh and wait for your to get your “SHUT UP”s out (a sign that he’s clearly the right guy, right?!) and that he designed such a unique ring!

    The internet is such a weird place – I’ve been reading your blog for a long time (and just finished your book, which was so great!) so I when I saw you post this on your facebook page I gasped and laughed and grinned like it’s one of my good friends getting engaged, haha! Seriously though – so excited for you two! Maybe Tzimmer really translates to “engagement shack”? 😉

  5. Congratulations Kim! Very happy for you both.

    “Zimmer “is actually a German word that means ‘room.’ 🙂
    As in, going to a hotel and asking if they have a room available. The equivalent in the English language is Bed & Breakfast or B&B. We Israelis adopt a lot of foreign words into our day to day speak.

  6. My husband asked me to marry him only months after we started dating. I said, “I can’t answer that question – ask me again later.” He never did, but we’ve been married 23 years next week.

  7. Obviously, 1000 congratulations to you and Roy. What you said is nowhere near as bad as what I said. We had been broken up because my guy couldn’t make up his mind. After 10 months he finally asked me and I cried in sad/relief/anger/happy, yelled at him for about 45 minutes and then said “well, I am eventually going to say yes, so I guess I’ll just say yes now.”

  8. Oh I wanted to share my engagement story because it’s so awkward. I went on vacation with my then-boyfriend and two of our good friends to Kona, Hawaii. During the vacation I got some kind of stomach flu so I had the most beautiful sightseeing moments disrupted by my needing to rush to the bathroom for extended periods. The friends traveling with us knew that my boyfriend was going to propose on the trip so they took us around to the various sightseeing spots and romantic views of the Big Island, and made themselves scarce. Each time, I ended up sitting in a bathroom.
    Finally one evening we were in our hotel room about to go out for some drinks with the friends and I was still in the bathroom. I emerged, about to get changed for going out and my boyfriend pulled out a ring and just said, will you marry me, I love you, but I’m getting really tired of carrying this ring around in my pocket the whole vacation! I said yes, and we ended up celebrating and drinking champagne with our friends in our room the rest of the evening. Totally horrid story, but the weirdness of it somehow seems typical for me. 🙂

  9. Awww. I LOVE this. Congratulations you two! When Curtis asked me to marry him my hands went to my face (eyes remained uncovered though) I didn’t say “shut up” but I didn’t say anything. I nodded. My friend Karen said “a nod was all it took”. ;-). So happy for you! The ring is lovely (I adore flowers on rings) and I am so happy for you! Hooray!

  10. Love it!! I tried to push off my engagement – I was reading a book when Frank started to propose! I think these kinds of reactions are awesome 🙂
    So thrilled for you both!!

  11. Aw, what an amazing year you’ve had – and just think how fantastic this coming year will be! Wishing you both all the best!

  12. Congratulations! Great things come to those who wait!!!! Beautiful ring and even more beautiful that he partially designed it!! If you knew this was coming you probably wouldn”t have gone to Isreal…ha. Yay to The Fella and the Future Mrs. Fella!!!!

  13. Congratulations to you both! I love all the photos and getting to hear the whole story. I am really so happy for you 🙂
    My engagement story is really not all that romantic. Maybe I’ll write it someday, because the circumstances are still somewhat entertaining…

  14. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you! The ring is beautiful. And it’s so special that Roy designed it himself.

  15. Congratulations, Kim!!! Blessings, joy, and eternal happiness for Mr. and Mrs. Fella!!! <3 🙂

  16. Congratulations!!!

    I just finished your book and it was amazing. Cannot wait to read your other writings!

    My sweet husband proposed at the top of a mountain in North Georgia after a lovely hike that almost killed him (his heart was beating so hard from nerves!) He also started by saying a bunch of really nice things.

    Congratulations again.

  17. Congrats! So cool and what a lovely ring.

    Frank proposed to me when we were back at my mom’s house after an incredibly large, delicious and heartburn inducing meal. I was wearing my finest grey yoga pants and black tshirts if I recall. Maybe even glasses. He made me move over on the futon, said, “I brought you a present” and hand me the ring.

    I said, “Thank you” and put it on. He asked me if I had a comment and said, “It’s really pretty, I love it”. Then I made him actually ask me.

  18. I’m so happy for you! Love the fact that Roy knows you and your reactions so well:) Lovely “Tzimmer” and the ring, too:)

    My own engagement story is very unromantic – there even was no ring (Tomek bought it *with* me, after we told my parents we’re getting married. Luckily this sounds waaay worse that it felt in RL)

  19. Congratulations to both of you! It’s awesome that Roy designed the ring himself.

    I’ve never been engaged so I have nothing else to share 🙁

  20. Mazel Tov!!! Just finished reading your memoir book and then looked at this and was happy to see that you finally took that next step. Wishing you a happy life and may the only thing you hoard be love…and perhaps children. : )

    My husband did not technically propose. We were both divorced and had children. We were just friends for 5 years and I was temporarily staying at his home after moving back to IL. We started going to chirch together. Though we had separate bedrooms…feelings were becoming a bit more than friendly. One Sunday, Ted went up to the pastor(without my knowledge) and asked him if he would marry the two of us. He was planning to ask me later…however, the pastor did not realize that and came up to me a few minutes later and told me that Ted had asked him to marry us. I just said, “Hmmm, that is funny. He forgot to ask me!” Two weeks later we were married. That was over 22 years ago. : )

  21. Awe! Congrats Hun! And don’t be ashamed! I’m sure he was flattered that you were so shocked!!

  22. I just read your book straight through over the past few hours which enticed me to go to your blog. I had to laugh at how similar your reaction to the proposal was to the proposal to move-in together. I really enjoyed your book and hope you enjoy your vacation.

  23. Sorry for the “testing” post–twice in the last several months I have typed a long reply and I got an error message, so I thought I would test first. 🙂
    1. Preordered your book on Amazon, read it right away and LOVED it. You are a wonderful writer and it was a fascinating story.
    2. One of the previous replies I tried to leave was re: your post on weight gain, etc. Just wanted to send my empathy. Hopefully, things are settling down and you will get back to where you feel just right about yourself weight-wise.
    3. Congratulations! What a wonderful couple you are! I agree with the poster above–it’s like it’s happening to a dear friend!
    Thanks for sharing with us, Kim. Yours is the blog that I have been reading the longest of all!

  24. I think that “Shut UP” is the perfect thing to say when your man proposes…
    I just finished reading Coming Clean…what an excellent read…we ALL come from some level of disfunction…you are brave to write your story, (I mean, your parents’ story), and I am grateful to you for having done so. Thank you! Congratulations to you and to your Fella!

  25. Ohhhh, I love stories like this. Best wishes to you and Roy. This is such an exciting time for you. BTW, your ring is absolutely gorgeous!

  26. Congratulations, Kim. It is beautiful. The story is beautiful. Roy and you are beautiful! – Love, Dinika

  27. Kim,

    I just finished reading your book, I downloaded and read it all today, I am a little ocd about reading books in one sitting. I can relate to your hiding the situation with your family, I understand that perfectly, although hoarding is not the issue I hide I live with my own demons. I was so thrilled to finish your book and then click over here to your website to find you and Roy engaged, how magical. I am thrilled for you that your life is going to have that happily ever after ending every little girl always dreams of….Congratulations!

  28. Hi, I just finished your book, and dropped by your website to see if there was an answer to one question you left hanging: did it work out with Roy? I’m glad to see you and Roy are engaged. Best wishes.

  29. Congratulations!! I just finished your book also and loved it! My mum recommended it to me and now I’m recommending it to others. Great to see you got your happy ending! All the best, Katherine from Australia 🙂

  30. I just finished reading your book and wondered if you and Roy were still together as book publication takes so long. I’m glad to see that you are engaged. Congratulations. And you’re right–he’s very handsome.


  31. I read you book the other night and was totally blown away. Also wanted to find out how you are doing and if it worked out with Roi. So happy for you and I will be following your blog and food site.

  32. I like how you didn’t even look at the ring for a while, and then later suddenly realized you hadn’t looked at it yet. That means that the proposal was more important to you than the ring. So many people just focus on the ring and how big the gem is and/or how expensive it is, and then flash it around for status. It’s refreshing to read of a genuine, loving reaction like this.

  33. So my husband always likes to bring up the fact that I told him shut up when he proposed to me, but I feel so much more relieved to know that I am not the only one who said shut up!! haha a little bit late, but congrats!!!!