A couple of years ago I tried a 3-Day Love Deep Cleanse from Organic Avenue.

I even made a video about my experience.

Here’s something I didn’t tell you in the video: I sharted in Whole Foods. You can understand why I might not put that on camera. On my last day of the cleanse I went to Whole Foods to stock up on fruits and veggies to delve into post detox, when all of a sudden I realized that the lack of fiber in my diet had left me defenseless to my colons maniacal deeds.  Despite all of the beneficial properties of cleansing, I just couldn’t get past the fact that I sharted…in Whole Foods! Gwyneth Paltrow does Organic Avenue juice cleanses, I bet she doesn’t shart. I bet she thinks celery juice is fantastic.

It took me quite a while to get over that trauma and reconsider the concept of a juice cleanse.

I’ve reconsidered. I blame Gilt, they had some great prices on a well-reviewed juice shop (not Organic Avenue). I ordered 6-days of a juice-till-dinner cleanse (hoping to avoid a repeat of the Whole Foods fiasco) and 6-days of full on juice. I have a juicer, and could totally juice on my own, but I don’t trust myself to do it—sautéing my kale is far too tempting!

Now, before I get into the somewhat controversial topic of cleanses, let me just say you don’t need to detox your body. Your body is perfectly capable of detoxing itself with very little intervention from you. That’s what our excretory system is for. My motivation for launching into a two-week cleanse (during the holiday season of all times) is to help me to normalize my body’s hunger cues and sugar cravings—and more than a little bit to keep me from going overboard during holiday parties. The past few months have been an exercise in procrastination eating, which has screwed up my eating habits in major ways. I’m not a huge sweets eater, but I have been rocking some hardcore sugar cravings lately. The first six-days of the cleanse I’ll be drinking four juices a day and then eating a normal, healthy dinner—giving my body an added boost of fiber and protein at the end of the day. The six after that will be all juice, all the time. Calorically these cleanses add up to about 1200 calories a day. By no means will I be depriving my body of calories, I’m just hoping to remember what it’s like to feel hunger again, and to not feel an overwhelming need to run out for a mid-afternoon cupcake.

This particular experiment will end on my birthday. I guess birthday cake isn’t the ideal cleanse-ender, but I wanted to reign in my bad habits before the New Year got here. Nothing like starting off a brand new year snorting Kit-Kats.

Have you ever done a juice cleanse? Are you curious to try one?

Juice


All greens: Kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, celery and cucumber

Beets me: carrot, beet, apple, pear, lemon and ginger

All greens with Apple: Kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, celery, cucumber, and apple

Coconut water

Dinner


Baked tofu, brown rice and string beans

As far as fasting goes, today was pretty easy.  The juices were much tastier than I remembered them being, and knowing I could chew at the end of the day took some of the anxiety out of it.  You’re not supposed to have caffeine during a cleanse, but I drank green tea to ward off caffeine withdrawal.

Exercise: Group training run, 2.5 miles