Hello United States of America, so nice to see you again; you, and your medical professionals.

The first thing I did when my plane landed was make an appointment with my doctor. Then I got in a cab and left the airport. I have to admit I’m a wee bit bummed that I didn’t get to blog more of my trip, but I doubt ya’ll were all that interested in watching me sleep for 20-hour stretches at a time. If nothing else, this vacation left me well rested.

Now that I’m back in the land of my health insurance I have all sorts of magical pills, and creams, and salves that should bring me back to human in the next few days.

I haven’t been completely useless since getting home. Besides visiting my most favorite general care practitioner I signed up for a gym in my new neighborhood. The Fella and I made the rounds of all of our neighborhood dumbbell bearing options, getting guest passes, and talking down sales people from the dreaded initiation fee.

I liken gym sales people to used car salesmen. You can’t help but think you’re being taken for a ride.

The gyms ran the gamut of gross and crowded to elitist with eucalyptus steam rooms and scented towels with exorbitant monthly fees. At the end of the day I opted for a city-wide Crunch membership—trusty Crunch with its theme classes, normal steam room, and reasonable prices. I have a soft spot for Crunch, the now closed Boston branch was the place where I first learned to love working out, back in my college days.

As far as deciding factors, besides whether or not I can actually afford to go, these are my main criteria for choosing a gym:

  1. Proximity: The Fella calls this the 90-minute rule, can you get to the gym, workout, shower, and be back home in 90-minutes. I call it, the “will I walk there in the winter” rule. A gym needs to be close enough for me to actually go to it.
  2. Equipment: Newer isn’t always better, there are a lot of great old machines out there, what’s important is that the machines that are there are ones I use and that they are well maintained. Having a plethora of cardio equipment doesn’t hurt either.
  3. Setup/Clientele: I’m not a huge fan of gyms that separate the weight room and cardio equipment in such a way that the weight room seems like an exclusive club that you need to be able to bench press your own body weight to get into. Having an inviting setup is extremely important to me. And, no offense to Gym Goombas, but if the weight room is overrun with gigantic men in tiny shorts who spend their time dropping large weights and chest bumping each other, chances are I’m going to feel really unwelcome by the weight rack.

     

I feel a lot better knowing I have a gym membership waiting for me as soon as I cycle out the Israeli Plague from my system. Bring on the spin classes!

Breakfast


At 4am, when I woke up, I was ravenous.
Oatmeal with light sour cream (a weird but lovable combo), hard-boiled eggs, and orange juice

Lunch


Low carb tortillas with tofurkey, Trader Joe’s Wasabi Seaweed Snacks, and baby carrots

Snack


Frozen pineapple and mango
Earl Grey Tea with milk

Dinner


Stir fry with brown rice and soy beef