You know how some people just know exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right moment? I have a friend like that.
Today, against my initial instinct, I decided to interview for the position I was recruited for earlier in the week. I figured ‘What’s the harm in checking it out?’ But the truth is that it’s extremely tempting to fall back into a secure routine with a steady paycheck, and that’s the harm. It would mean a return to 4am wake-up calls, and that overbearing feeling that I’m living the wrong life. When I went to their offices I remembered another time that I trusted my instincts:
When I was 20 years old I moved to Los Angeles to work in the entertainment industry. I’ve mentioned this before, it’s no secret. My time there was about as perfect as perfect could be: I was really well received, had amazing people that were established and willing to serve as mentors, and even landed walk-ons on a couple of TV shows. It all looked perfect, but I knew that it wasn’t right for me. I moved back to New York right before my 21st birthday and my life took shape. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like had I not moved back when I did. I ended up being cast at the first audition I went to and moving in with one of the cast members that needed a roommate (to the apartment I still live in today), dating another cast member (for four years!), and becoming great friends with my co-ingénue who would later go on to become a published author and a huge support for me in my writing career.
That’s how I felt about this interview. The organization is shiny and successful, they didn’t flinch when I quoted them a salary point $10K more than I made at my last job, and I have the perfect resume for them. If I wanted to I could rock this job, but I don’t want to rock this job, I want to rock my life. For the first time in almost two years I feel like me. I’m not the only one who has noticed.
I met with a friend for some coffee shop working time before my interview. Mostly we work silently near each other, but every so often we break from our respective blogging duties to chat. As I was leaving the interview today I checked my email,
I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see you as your old self. I almost
forgot what she is like: a bright ray of sunshine, optimism, and
confidence. It’s positively contagious.
Then some other stuff…
It was perfect timing. I needed that reminder to listen to my instincts right now, and that whatever I’m doing, I’m on the right path.
I know I’m super hokey right now, but it’s taking a lot of my brain capacity to fight off the extremely developed rational part of my brain and just let the intuitive part field this one.
As a reward for being self-indulgent I bought myself a new pair of sweatpants at TJ Maxx. If I’m going to work from home I’m going to have to expand my professional wardrobe J
Fiber O’s, banana, and almond milk
Trader Joe’s tofu pad thai
I grabbed a sandwich before my improv class: multigrain roll with brie, turkey, and apple