I had an audition this morning. Everything about this audition seemed a bit off. The sides were way too long, and were almost 15 years old, and not from the show being cast. The casting director couldn’t tell me anything about the show, claiming she was only brought in for the day to find talent, but doesn’t know what the show is. I know a lot of casting directors, and I’ve never met one that didn’t know exactly what it is they were casting for. And the talent pool I was auditioning with all seemed really green to me. I had a bad feeling about it, and would go so far as to say I threw the audition. It certainly was not my best performance…but low and behold a few hours later I received a pretty vague, very impersonal email, congratulating me on getting cast.
There’s a very ingrained part of me as an actor, that says never turn down work. There’s an even bigger part of me, the part that has been auditioning and working in theater since I was a child, that says this is sketchy. I vaguely remember auditioning for this theater company back when I was and trying to build up my resume, and having the same sketchy feeling.
Still, I was a bit torn, because I’ve been on a sort of indeterminate hiatus from acting, and the idea of being on stage again seems tempting, regardless of the project.
That’s where yoga comes in. I went to a much needed class tonight, and somewhere between cobra and triangle pose my inner monologue became much more clear-minded: You don’t have to accept everything offered to you.
I struggle with this in many aspects of my life: work (hence my current four job rotation), food, fun, and even dating. Often times my drive to say “yes” to life opens up a lot of great opportunities, but it has also been known to get me into some sticky situations.
Part of this months goal to take care of myself means listening to my intuition. Not every opportunity is meant to be taken. If something feels wrong it probably is. I will take it as a compliment that I was chosen, but I will politely decline their offer. I feel pretty good about that.
I’m hoping I can take this little yoga epiphany with me to other tempting but not-quite-right situations.
Egg white omelet with spinach and reduced fat Cheddar
Whole wheat toast
I wish my intuition would have kicked in at lunch time, this was a total Whole Foods fail.
Black bean burger with way under cooked sweet potato wedges
This is the sort of mishmash that happens when you don’t do a proper grocery run:
Brown rice, veggie burger, egg, broccoli with a healthy dose of hot sauce