I took the day off from work to be sad.
I cried till about 3pm, then decided that that was enough of that.
I fired up my laptop, and made productive on my professional life. If my personal life is decidedly non-existent, I will harness my energy toward the thing I do best…work.
I know, this goes against everything my New Year’s resolution stood for, but coping mechanisms are what they are, and being work-obsessed has never failed to make my life better. Men on the other hand…well, if I weren’t Jewish, I’d probably consider the convent as a nice safe hiding place. (Sorry gents, I know I have quite a few male readers. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m sure you’re fantastic.)
So, I spent a few hours applying to jobs, brainstorming future interviews, sending freelance invoices, and working on book related stuff. I sent out some feelers for acting work and have some auditions coming up. I’m good at what I do, at least that’s one thing I’m good at.
I’m also really good at making friends (that’s why I’m writing a book about it). I have some of the best people in the world in my life as evidenced by the actual pity party that took place at my apartment tonight.
Mid-afternoon Sarah came by, soy latte in hand. Coffee is all the love I need. Coffee is made of cotton candy and unicorns. I could be surrounded by that scent forever, it makes me feel like everything will be alright. You know, that and having friends who love me enough to drop everything to fill me with comfort.
At the same time, my friend Yos came by with my favorite 5-month old. Her reasoning, it’s pretty impossible not to be happy around Ms. Abigail. She is right. All of the crappy undertones fell away as we laughed over funny baby stuff, and girly stuff, and stupid boy stuff.
An hour later my best friend arrived, she is probably the most empathetic person alive, and spent her day crying at work, because I was crying at home. Then she drove to Brooklyn from Long Island to bring me candy and hand me tissues. [Aside: When my apartment was robbed in college, she and my other best friend (who were in school together at the time) drove all night to get to Boston by morning to take me out for breakfast. Her being kind of amazing is nothing new.]
What ensued was Femfest 2011. Honestly, I had a pretty amazing night in the company of amazing women who love me and are pretty damn good at snapping me back to reality when things look bleak. It doesn’t hurt that they brought snacks. It wasn’t until they arrived that I realized I hadn’t eaten all day. Laughter and frozen yogurt and babies and tears and hugs are the best medicine.
Seriously, how awesome are my friends?
As for dating, well, I have that sort of upchucky feeling when I think of doing it again; I think it’s time for another hiatus. I’m in that I’d-rather-lick-razor-blades-than-have-a-man-touch-me place.
Is this my general happy-go-the-sun-will-come-out-tomorrow outlook? No, but it’s truthful and how I feel right now and I’m going with it.