Okay, note to self: When friend’s mom says she’s hired some manicurist to come to her house for a quiet night of mani-pedi’s and movies in honor of her daughter’s upcoming nuptials, what she really means is she hired a man in panties to dry hump you and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

I had my first experience with a male stripper this weekend!

I found the whole thing really awkward.  I sort of live under the guise of if I want a man to rub his junk on me, I’ll let him know.  So far, this has been a pretty good life philosophy.  I was embarrassed by my lap dance, but the guy seemed very nice.  I wonder if he gets good benefits…I mean like health insurance, not other types of benefits (I’m sure he gets those!)

Yup, that was my weekend, that and walking around the nicest house I’ve ever been in.  My friend’s mom, who shall remain nameless, works in the service industry in the Hamptons (for those of you who don’t know The Hamptons, it’s where the rich people go in the summer to be with other rich people).  On our way to pick up one of her employees at a house we took a little tour of said house.  OH MY GOD!  I didn’t know houses like this existed outside the pages of “Better Homes and Gardens.”  The guest suite was bigger than my apartment building. At one point, I told my friend we were in my dream kitchen and she just laughed at me and told me we were in the service kitchen, not the real kitchen, then we went to the real kitchen, and I died.  I died.  I can’t believe that people live like that.  And, they only live there two months out of the year.

Honestly, it seems kind of wasteful to me.

I know I’ll never live like that.  I never thought I wanted to.  But at that moment, I was seriously considering putting myself up for adoption.

Then I went back to my own little apartment, in my own little neighborhood and realized I was pretty happy, and proud, of the life I’ve made myself.  I might not have a mansion, but I’m damn proud of where I am in life, even if I don’t have a service kitchen.

Sigh…

Breakfast

Egg white omelet with broccoli and lite Cheddar
Whole grain bread

Snack

Coffee and banana

Lunch

Salad with lettuce, cucumber, beets, feta, peppers, fennel, carrot, egg and lemon vinaigrette

Jell-o.  After last weeks craving I have leftovers, but I’m back to thinking Jello is gross.

Snack

Orange

Dinner

Udon noodle soup with bok choy and shrimp