And now it’s time for a completely random memory: A couple of years ago I was walking around lower Manhattan on my lunch break thinking about puppies.
Yes, that is lame, but it’s true. I like puppies, they’re cute.
This isn’t a regular habit I’m in, but on this particular day someone had sent me some sort of adorable video of puppies playing and I was thinking about it and smiling uncontrollably, I may have even laughed a little.
A man came up to me and actually commented on how nice it was to see someone smiling.
I internalized that moment, probably because it was both heartwarming and a little sad. I thought about the fact that I spend much of my life walking around with bitchface on. Bitchface is sometimes necessary but I’d prefer it weren’t my default face.
Today I decided to ditch bitchface and get my puppyface back on. I decided to smile for the sake of smiling, not a creepy toothy grin that encourages to people to cross the street to avoid the crazy lady, but just a little upturn to my mouth.
Don’t you know I was really happy today. I genuinely felt more optimistic. I’m not going to say it was easy to keep up the facade, I had to consciously remind myself to get smiley but by the end of the day, I was actually thinking happier thoughts and it wasn’t so much work any more. Also, I felt like people were nicer to me in general. And…my appetite finally started to show it’s face. I think I may be on to something. Or, I’m crazy.
Tonight I’m breaking one of my monthly resolutions not to work at night, but only tonight. I have an assignment I’ve been procrastinating on finishing for weeks and well I just need to get it done…so tonight I’m forgoing my previously scheduled jog to get this nagging interview off my conscious. I guess I can’t smile my way out of my responsibilities…
Smoothie with almond milk, strawberries, banana and protein powder
Salad with mustard greens, cucumber, tomato, avocado, tuna
Udon noodles soup with baby bok choy, and shrimp