Happy Birthday Chelsea Handler.  Today is her birthday, I know this because I was internet stalking her today.

This all started yesterday when I hit up my local book store to trade in books.  I had been reading a ginormous book about the intricate and oft contradictory relationships between Israelis and Palestinians.  This just needed to go.

You see…I work for an Israel based non-profit, that I hate.  I just broke up with an Israeli man, that I don’t hate but certainly don’t have any interest in being reminded of on my commute to and from work everyday, and it is exactly one year since I went to Israel and have been getting emails and pictures all week from my Israel travel companions who are all super psyched and can’t wait to go back!

In a word: done.  I have reached my Holy Land threshold.

So, off to Border’s I went in search of a book that would neither remind me of Israel, work, or anything to do with romance, I stumbled on Chelsea Handler’s memoir about her extremely active sex life,  My Horizontal Life.

I’m in love with her.  I have always had a little girl-crush on her and when producers of the Daily Special and I would get together to talk about what the show could become I would often reference her show ‘Chelsea Lately’.  Truth be told though, I could never be like her.  I’m just not crass enough.  My humor, while a special-snowflake, is of the more self-depreciating nature while she is just delightfully uncouth.  She’s also way more promiscuous than I can ever imagine being, or well, have time for…and I think it’s kind of awesome.

The book I’m reading has nothing to do with love, but has everything to do with sex.  I am so enthralled with her, I keep chuckling aloud on the subway which always inspires confused looks by strangers.  What is that strange sound she’s making?!

Anyhoo, I take it as a sign that I was Googling Chelsea Handler on her birthday (which is silly because of course people Google her everyday–including her day of birth).  A sign that I need to get focused on getting back in the comedy scene, so while I’m still over-employed I’m going to sign up for more improv classes, it’s time to dust off those comedy chops.  I have a friend, a stand-up,  who has been trying to get me to give stand-up a whirl for well over a year now, he wrote to me earlier this week about grabbing dinner next week–maybe it’s time for a some buffalo wings and brain picking.

Mmm.  Buffalo wings.  My stomach was way better today.  I could eat meals!  Real ones, with food!

Breakfast

Smoothie with kefir, banana & peach slices

Lunch

Yup, still eating that soup.
Kale & white bean soup.

Dinner

Steamed zucchini
Strip steak with blue cheese (I had left over cheese, it seemed like a good idea and it was).