Dance Your Ass OffA few months ago I had that dewy glow that only comes from coming from THE BEST AEROBICS CLASS EVER, which of course was the Dance Your Ass Off classa la the East 59th Street Crunch.

I don’t think I’ve ever liked anything as much as I liked that class, not even Santa Claus, and that dude’s got sway.  Needless to say, I was pretty psyched to get my greedy lil fingers on the new Dance Your Ass Off Workout DVD.  Could it be that I was about to have that euphoric sweat drenched feealing in the comfort of my own home?

No.  Definitely not.  This DVD sucked, don’t buy it.

That’s harsh, but it’s true.  I’ve done a lot of Exercise DVDs in my life, so I feel like I have a fairly large scope to judge from.  The absolute worst home workout I’ve ever done was the Weight Loss Hula Workout, but this one was a close second.

The DVD is sectioned off into three sections: Disco, Latin, and Hip Hop.

Section one was without a doubt the worst.  The only good thing that really came out of this was that the guy leading the section will forever be known as DISCO JESUS, seeing as how is name is Jesus and he teaches disco and that’s how the title page comes up.

I would not make out with Disco Jesus, Disco Jesus is all over the place, he’s really excited and really jumpy but he’s not actually doing anything.

Disco Jesus burns more calories talking than he does moving.  If you’re really into pointing, you’re going to really like this section, if not, fastforward to the Latin section.  I’m pretty sure DJ has exercise tourettes, and is constantly saying weird catch phrases like “Easy Dance” (which occurred approximately 30 times in a 10-minute segment).

He also likes to single out poor Ruben (this seasons winner), and ask him how he’s doing every 45-seconds.  Ruben, not knowing what to say keeps saying “I’m dancing my ass off.”

In a word: Awkward.

Section two is led by Latin Hilary.  Latin Hilary is definitely the most likable of the three instructors, albeit totally boring.  This section pretty much amounts to standard Latin dance walking, and a couple of Cha-Cha’s.  All legitimate, and she teaches them well, but there is hardly any real movement in this section.

The third section is taught by Hip Hop Lisa, who incidentally is the shows choreographer.  This is actually the only section of the DVD that I actually felt like I was working, and Lisa’s body is sick (sick in a good way).  Lots of elbow throwing and hyper extended torsos and large leg movements make this quite possibly the only part of this DVD worth doing.

It is worth noting that Kristin Jacobs, who I reviewed recently for her own Hip Hop DVD, was one of the background dancers.  While I liked Lisa’s section, it was only 10-minutes long, if you’re looking for a more substantial dance workout I’d definitely head Kristin’s way.

The Dance Your Ass Off Workout is $9.99 on Amazon, don’t say I didn’t warn you.