I’ve had a really hard figuring out how to write what I want to write today.
I don’t generally like to discuss my politics with people. Not just in the blogosphere, in general, my mother and I fight about this often as she likes to talk politics for hours, and I am perfectly content to sit and mull over my own beliefs privately. It is for this reason that I used to hate filming the round table segments of The Daily Special. In general, I have always felt that we are all entitled to our belief systems, and shouldn’t be forced to defend them at will at dinner parties and family reunions, or on internet shows in my case.
This morning, however, I saw the video of Neda Agha-Soltan being shot. I spent the rest of the day crying. I thought about what her fiance wrote about her; that she didn’t favor one presidential candidate over the other, “She wanted freedom, freedom for everybody.” And, I thought about how she was the same age as I am, and how she died in her father’s arms and how I wasn’t home to see my father on Father’s Day. I thought about how the world is cruel, it’s cruel to all of us at different times, but there are somethings I’ll never really understand: like what it’s like to live without a sense of freedom.
I don’t believe in an after life. I believe in being a good person for the sake of being a good person and living your life to the fullest because you only get one shot at doing it right. Having said that, I feel like I’ve been in a state of inertia these last few months, and what a waste that is. I have so much to be grateful for and I worry about the fact that I gained a few pounds or the fact that someone somewhere doesn’t like me, or that my bank account isn’t quite as flush as it once was. I just feel like that’s all the small stuff. I have my life, and making the most of it is the most important responsibility I have. Life is hard, but it’s a gift.
Of course, I do have my political beliefs on the situation in Iran, but like I said, I don’t like talking about them. Instead, I stick to what I know and what I know seems to be an ever changing path to coming to terms with being me.
Here’s what I ate:
Newman’s Own Bran Cereal
I’m obsessed with this salad:
Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, beets, mandarin oranges, goat cheese, almond slivers, oil & vinegar
Whole wheat spaghetti w/ sauteed onions, green & yellow peppers, tomato, and fresh rosemary from my garden
Topped with freshly grated cheese