I’ve been dealing with a lot of insecurities lately.  That’s part of life. I’ve decided to dedicate the month of June to dealing with them head on.  I admit that I’m feeling somewhat aimless these days, something that was exciting and new at first, but is now starting to wear on me (and my waistline).

I could wallow, but I’ve been wallowing for a while now, and I’m starting to get bored with it, so methinks it’s time to really focus on changing my current situation.  I feel very lucky to have the freelance writing jobs that I have, but they’re really not enough to live on, plus the serious lack of benefits is starting to wear on me.  I’m going to make re-entering the work force a priority this month.  

As for my body, last week I confessed my frustration with my recent weight gain, as well as my lack of goal to strive for.  For now, I don’t have any event, or move, or sporting event looming, so those really can’t be my goals.  It looks like if I’m going to get back in shape (which should be hard, but not overwhelming) I’m going to have to do it for me.  My best friend is getting married in February of 2011, which would give me a year and a half to be the hottest bridesmaid ever.  It’s a stretch, but for lack of a better goal, that’s what I’m working with right now.  

My gym (and favorite instructor at said gym) is adding Urban Rebounding to their class line-up soon.  I’m not sure the exact date, but I know I could use a new class to be obsessed with.  I’ve done Urban Rebounding before (on The Daily Special) and really liked it-perhaps a new fitness obsession is just what the doctor ordered.

There’s something about this time of year that just makes me feel so much more alive.  Even though I’ve been a bit stressed and moody lately a sunny day and tree lined street never ceases to make me feel lucky to be alive.  My goal is to not take one single second of this beautiful time of year for granted.  I already have a BBQ planned for two weeks from now, but I see more picnics, aimless wandering and city exploration in my future.  All work and no play, makes life very, very daunting-perhaps I need to prioritize fun more.

I love that the first day of June starts on a Monday.  It just makes it all feel so official.  New week, new month, the second half of the year!  If there were ever a time for refreshing it’s now.  I once heard someone say “every choice is the chance to do the right thing.”  Right now, the I’m making the choice to focus on myself, and I think that there isn’t anything more right than that.

Wow, that was way more dramatic than my resolutions usually are, but sometimes it happens.  What are you resolving for June?