I wasn’t around yesterday, obviously.  I went to go see Rachael Ray.  I well, err, I… My mom loves Rachael Ray and I love my mom and I went to the Rachael Ray show to make my mom all sorts of contented with her life.  But that wench friggin pissed me off.  My mom had VIP tickets, because she’d gone and been turned away before.  So we definitely got in, we were pretty close to being first in line actually.  When you get in you’re immediately color coded: Blue, Pink or Yellow.  You don’t realize what these colors are for until you get seated, and here’s what they mean:

Blue: Young and cute
Pink: Young, Early Middle Age and passibly attractive by TV standards
Yellow: Anyone who is over 50, wears more than a size 10, or looks a little “ehh.”

Blue up in front, and given questions to ask the guest (Mario Lopez-stay tuned), Pink, might get a bit of face time on camera, Yellow: We kind of wish you weren’t here, you’re ruining our image, but we’ll put you in the back where the camera doesn’t go.  Fuck Rachael Ray, fuck her and her minions.  She made my mother feel bad and for that I will spend the rest of my life loathing that stupid effing wench.  Oh, and she has absolutely no personality.  The woman looks exhausted, throws a quick wave at the audience, and hurries through each segment.  Seriously, I’m amazed at the editing that goes into making her look like she even cares.  I will give her this, she does actually cook the food in between segments-alright Rachael you get one point.

Anyhoo, I ate yesterday:



2 Eggs Over Medium
Whole Grain Toast
Coffee & Orange Juice



1/2 a Summer Roll
I shared this one with my Mom


Seafood Soup (Obviously I’m not doing so well on my Vegetarian resolution)


Coffee (there’s sweetened condensed milk at the bottom-so cool)


Split Three Ways: Chocolate Banana Cake with Dulce De Leche Ice Cream



Lara Bar and a Diet Dr. Pepper
Not quite that glamorous after lunch, but I was in class and needed something.