It’s September 11th and I work in Lower Manhattan, steps from where the World Trade Centers once stood. It will never cease to be shocking to me. I think in many ways politics have twisted what happened here seven years ago, but the truth will always come down to the fact that real people lost their lives and that’s incredibly sad. It’s a somber day here.
In a more egocentric sense-I am perhaps at my threshold. I am by nature a responsibility-whore. There’s nothing I can’t do-in my humble opinion, but I really think I may have too much on my plate right now-in the figurative sense, my literal plate is decently proportioned. There will be big changes coming to The Daily Special starting next week, which I’m very excited about, but stressed out about as well-this will be more work. Work that will be worth it, but more work nonetheless. My real life jobby-job is quite busy. I hope to find some outlet for steady freelance employment within a year, but until then juggling writing, acting, working, classes, friends, social life, family-has been a lot to handle. I’m unbelievably lucky that I have such wonderful friends and family, but I do sometimes feel burdened by it. Does that make sense? I’ve always made the people in my life a priority, because if you don’t have people, then all the work means nothing. But, sometimes I feel like I can’t say no, because I’ve set this standard of always being there for people, and right now, with all these plates in the air I really feel like I can’t handle it all.
Tonight, I was supposed to go to a play with a friend, but I have to go out to Long Island to take my mother to the doctor tomorrow, so I’ll be chilling on the good ole Long Island Railroad this evening. Saturday I have my book club-which usually feels like a joy-but right now just feels like one more responsibility. And, I have emails from like 9 friends asking what my schedule is for next week. Which I don’t know, because I will be shooting at different times. I’m a mess. Sorry to spew all this, but I may just be cracking under the pressure.
Meanwhile here’s what I’m eating:
Tonight, I’ll do an exercise video before my train leaves. I need the stress relief and the blog fodder for tomorrows Elastic Waist post.